11.30.2012

I can see the end of the semester without putting on my glasses!

My brainstorming? All arrows.
It's so near! It's almost December!

This semester has been so creatively tumultuous. And I have learned many, many things about how I work, and how I need to work in order to focus the... blast radius? I don't really know what to call it. But yeah.

Screenwriting was really stressing me out this semester. It's since gotten much better, but for three months it was just dragging. I'd get things down on paper but they wouldn't be... useful, or complete thoughts or anything. I started reviewing books I read in middle and high school to dredge up some feelings/ideas for my grad film. I'm hoping it'll end up being a piece that is both nostalgic for me and an audience. But only time will tell, for that one. My idea of it's purpose seems to change a little bit, every day - so we'll just have to see. Well, today it changed a lot actually. And it felt pretty good. The script's on it's merry way again.

Editing my Fall semester film has been taxing. I've learned a lot going back and seeing what worked and what did not. The entire process, however, is proving quite a challenge. This week I'll be remedying some absent transitions with stop motion animation. I'm hoping it'll give the film more of a whimsical flare, and unite the scenes. I got some great feedback last week regarding my cut, and now it's happily bumbling along.

This semester's lessons have come about in interesting ways, and having mostly to do with what I enjoy doing in the production process, what I still need to learn, and what I simply have no skills in whatsoever. I don't very much enjoy screenwriting. I like writing novels, when I can use prose to weave anything I want. I find screenplays rather restrictive, I suppose, while not being that great at writing them at all. I really enjoy pre-visuals, storyboarding, picking colour pallets, I enjoy set work, being behind the camera. Editing is a task I will give a second chance to only if it's dealing with someone else's footage. Having to stare at mistakes I've made both as a director and a photographer over and over again are exhausting and infinitely frustrating.


In the 'I feel weird about humans' news department, I continue to be confused by most people. Respect is still a weird thing in my books. How it ebbs and flows, not only other people's reflections on myself, but my own judgements on others - and reasons why I make those judgements. It's hard not to endlessly stew over someone not wanting to spend time with you any more, or why they don't talk to you, or want to work with you. It's all very curious stuff. Most of which, I doubt will come clear in my life time. So, I'm going to see how stepping away from stewing about it feels, because it seems to be doing the trick.

I'm glad Vancouver has decided to throw us some nicer days in with the rain. With each year that passes, the rain becomes increasingly bothersome in it's capacity to just... make a not-quite-right day into a horrible one. Laundry day, not so bad. Laundry day when it's pouring rain out, the dickens. Had a lame day in class, forgets umbrella - hellish trip home. But those patches of sunshine have sure been sweet surprises!

I also got an iPhone a few weeks ago. Instagram ftw! I sort of hate it, but I sort of really love it. Want to be instagram buddies? I can definitely see myself just instagraming the business out of Christmas shenanigans this year. Just so you know.

The next ten days will be brimming with tiredness, finding frantic holds in the creative process, knuckling down and learning some science... etc. It's going to be very busy. Screenplays due, cut/sound mix/colour grade to be delivered, so much studying to do. But after my last exam next Sunday, it's Christmas potluck time - then briskly home the next day. It's going to be a fun one this year.


I'm really excited to go home (oh boy, that's in like... less than two weekss) for Christmas. It's going to be an extended holiday, which I am quite grateful for. I need some time away from Vancouver, it and I have had some good times, but really - we get on each other's nerves. I want to go see some animals other than dilapidated pigeons and hoardes of crows.




Things to Check Out -

OUR SCREENING! Thirteen third year student films! On December 6th, that's this coming Thursday. Like Facebook? Check out our event page! It's free, so what could possibly go wrong?

The His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman. Specifically this edition. I've spent the last few weeks rereading this series and it's just magical and awesome.

Be sure to keep up with production on Rheanna Toy's short film NINA.

The Pacific Cinematheque is having an amazing set of Studio Ghibli films all throughout December! It's the only reason I'll be sad to leave for most of the month! They are absolutely magical films, and I urge you two check one or two or all of them out!

New Years Eve with CANADIAN FRAME(LINES)! I think I'll spend my first New Years in Vancouver with these fine folks! Not familiar with them? Check yourself before you wreck yourself!

10.23.2012

Production wrap...?

Production having wrapped this past Sunday on my short film 'My Favourite Things' (working title), and taking a couple days hiatus from the footage, it's time for some pre-post-production musings while I get my ProRes conversions. Fun stuff.


It was an exhausting two plus months in pre-production. My reluctance to relinquish control/delegate to others along with a determination to learn the ropes put me in a position of acute stress. I was my own producer, writer, director, cinematographer, oi.

We had tremendous luck with the weather, an animated and responsive few actors (plus a gecko named Neelix), a patient group of actor supervisors and a crew that was more than I could have hoped for. Our set dec looked great - quite different than I had planned, but still absolutely wonderful.

Photo: Marnie Dunbar
Although it looks like we're coming in a chunk over budget, I'd say this was a very worthy journey - as most journeys are. I was able to pace out my resources, explore rental options, play with DSLRs and an excellent lens package assembled from a few different sources. The only major disappointment was my inability to get gear support from my school due to a large number of productions taking place on the same weekend. This caused my budget for gear to skyrocket, which always puts me on edge a bit. Although, now that I'm destitute, I get to eat set leftovers for the foreseeable future.

Some things to keep in mind during production:
  • Feed your actors and your crew well, they're not being paid (on an indie/student set anyways) - treat them to something nice
  • Consistent crew over your shoot days is prime, you get a bit of a community thing going on, everyone is on the same page at the start and end of every day
  • Get yourself a dynamite art director, we had a supreme set dec combo costumes/script supervisor and it was organized, efficient and effective
  • Also get yourself a dynamite AD who knows their business, how to schedule and when to step in when things are getting behind - we were able to wrap two of our three days early because we had an effective game plan for the weekend
  • Do your research and ask questions when going into any kind of rental house - they appreciate competent, patient, polite people going there for business, especially if you're a student
  • Have someone new on your set? Get to know them, take them out for coffee - and make sure they know they're part of the team when they come onto set - strangers on set is a variable that is totally avoidable, it gives you a chance to make new acquaintances instead of just utilizing them as crew
  • Don't miss an opportunity to make a good impression - keep your cool, even if you're behind schedule, even if something isn't quite panning out the way you want it to - keeping an even keel wont fail in keeping your crew behind you, your shots done on time, your head clear and everybody happy
  • Be generous with your time - even if you're a super busy director/producer type, always take the time for any single person on your team - there is no reason not to know everyone's name, what their role is, and any possible obstacles they may be personally overcoming on the set - it's a student/indie set, you don't have a PR devision for your 200+ crew, and your volunteers deserve some attention
We had a remarkably chill set, although I was stressing on the inside pretty hard, I felt at ease knowing that my cast and crew were at ease. I'll state again how vital and fantastic my cast and crew were to the completion of the production stage of this film.

Photo: Marnie Dunbar

Directing wasn't as harrowing as I thought it'd be - working with kids was great. My next challenge will be working with some people in and around my age for my next semester project.

With grad film proposals all handed in, my mind's been buzzing about three short films simultaneously. Next semester calls for a small budget, on-the-fly shoot - maybe an improv-type of script. It'll be a completely different experience, I'm sure of that. And that's one thing I love about film - I have been on dozens of sets in the past year, and quite frankly - I've never had the same experience twice, even if I'm working with the same people.

The production of 'My Favourite Things' coming to a close, a load is off my mind - but the marathon of post-production stretches out before me. The nightmare is seeing if I actually got sufficient coverage. I'm also hoping to do some little bits of stop motion animation to whimsical-up my film. Should be interesting.

Mark your calendars now - SFU's 3rd year screening is on December 6th!


Some things to look at:

Vice's web series Fashion Internationale, which Jezebel introduced me too. The fashion elements don't interest me as much, but the culture is fascinating. I think about changing North American culture quite a bit - it's really neat (and terrifying, in a way) to see it happen in other countries in different and similar measures. Not to mention exploring beauty standards abroad.

9.27.2012

Oh bother.


“When you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.” 
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh







Smaller, more feeble brainstorms
Fall's here. There are large spiders amassing some sort of army in my back yard. There is a single pumpkin in the pumpkin patch. There are large scale brainstorms taped to my bedroom wall. And we go to picture in three weeks! It's this extreme combo of explosive excitement and withering fear. It's a tremendous rush, this challenge. I know there are going to be many that are similar in nature to it, but never twice the same. 

I'm so excited to have other people excited about my project. It's like... extrapolated excitedness. I've gotten a pile of submissions for auditions, and I just feel grateful Vancouver has such a large, strong and many-tiered acting community. Casting is something I've never done on my own before, and it's a combination of waiting, scheduling, papers (flying everywhere), but ultimately, I'm finding the experience quite rewarding. A few friends have really helped me out in getting my 'casting legs' and I really owe them a great deal. Especially when I text them with panicked, insignificant questions at all hours; 'SO WHAT IF THIS HAPPENS', 'DO I NEED TO DO THIS?', 'WHAT IF EVERYONE HATES ME?!' etc.

The beginnings of much, much larger brainstorms
I'm doing all of these new things like casting and prop renting and gear renting and doing a bunch of copyright research (oh god). It's hurdle after hurdle, but everything is quite attainable. Often through the  help of other souls' wisdom and Google, that is. There are so many ways to go about getting things done in pre-production. Although, I know it would be tons easier with a production manager, I see great value in stepping through the process a few times alone, seeing how I fare - taking the time to recognize how long some of these processes take and the hoops you've got to jump through sometimes to get an answer. I don't know, I'm pretty stoked on it.

It seems every week has a bit of a 'themed worry', i.e. last week I flipped about gear shortages combo money shortages and having to deal with rental houes. This week, the theme seems to be casting jitters (large LARGE casting tremors). Next week, whooo knooows. Probably props. Let's just call next week, 'The week Laurel freaks about props'. By the time we go to picture, everything will come full circle. We'll finish shooting, I'll go into short term hibernation (also called torpor, hummingbirds do it - science!), disappear for a few days, then come back relatively right as rain. By then I can stress about editing until the end of tiiiime. Hopefully, I can budget my time (ha) to accomodate some tiny, but rich, stop motion animated scenes into my film (which also might have a sort of working title now) - I got pretty amped on stop motion again after seeing ParaNorman.

I bought a new tea pot, I am pleased
It's pretty great to be writing again. The screenwriting class I have semester has been a lot of work so far, but it just sort of opened up some doors that haven't been opened for some time. The class demands fairly large assignments each week, but they're very open. The more I get to writing, the easier it comes to me, the more I enjoy it. Whether I am improving or not is to be seen, but it's becoming less of a chore.

Anyways.





Sorry the photos are so boring this week. I'm waiting for some 35mm film scans to come back from the lovely humans at CustomColor and Beau Photo. Then there will be so many photos!

It's inching towards sweater weather people, break out 'dem long sleeves!


Feast your brain upon:

I definitely got stuck in a YouTube loop with Vsauce 2 the other day. Just a short, periodically released video about cool mechanics and tech. Plus! There's links to anything, so you can do some learnin'.

An awesome article on this nutburgers sabre-toothed herbivore that once roamed the Earth.

Check out the fundraiser for the City of Vancouver Archives! Old photographs! Huzzah!

The event of the year, second only, maybe, to Christmas - VIFF kicked off today! Pick up a catalogue and pick out some new, wild things to see! Also come visit! I'm volunteering at the wonderful, wonderful Vancity Theater.

Super-congratulations to Sophie Jarvis, a recent film graduate of SFU, who landed her short grad film 'Worst Day Ever' at VIFF (amongst a bunch of other festivals) make sure you catch it in the short program Break Even!

9.16.2012

Here we go...

"We gather knowledge faster than we gather wisdom."

This semester, I've been working on developing a daily routine. Things I need to do every day, things that need to get done every day, regardless. A medley of tidying, practicing the ukulele, writing, watching a movie or two, doing so much ecology reading. Perhaps in ritual I can get this semester under control and have it maintained in such a state, that in the weeks I approach my shoot, the rest of my life doesn't just... deflate/collapse/spontaneously combust.

Oh yeah. So I'm shooting in five weeks. My first largeish-scale, solo venture.

Broccoli I grew. NBD.
I've got ideas flying all over the place for my first semester film, as well as for my grad film (yeah, that's coming up quicker than I anticipated). Now that I've finally got my first draft completed and my gear list in, the only thing that feels all wiggly and in the way of my confidence is casting - and that's only because I've never done it before and it's a little intimidating. More so because I'm casting a quartet of kids. Oh, and a gear/crew situation that continues to worsten every time I check up on it. But we'll deal with that... later.

The shoot seems like a long ways away at this point, but I know it's going to sneak up on me like nobody's business. But knowing what I want is an incredible feeling. After being stuck on page four of my screenplay since sometime in July, I forced myself to sit down and complete the first draft. No sleep, I said, til it's done. The next day was just astounding (equal parts excitement, accomplishment, and drifting on three hours sleep). My gear list was easy to build, thoughtfully extrapolate and submit. It's so stupendous. I can see how this is going to roll. And I feel it's going to go well.

My excited anxiousness reminds me a lot of my trepidation going into my two productions for first year... except my brain seems so much more organized. There's still fear (if you come onto set one day and you're not afraid, really, what's the point of coming onto set at all), but it's a controlled fear, a much more logical fear. A fear I can get excited about? Maybe? I have a notebook and in it are lists of things, 'current problems', 'potential problems', 'things to avoid'. But these are right alongside the things I feel more positive about - budgets and props, lighting and camera. It's (so far) balancing out to a very zen experience. Everything, right now, seems within my grasp.

To get myself all mentally geared up for my shoot, I've selected a pile of books and DVDs to sort of set me off in similar directions. Either stylistically or inspiring character details or camera angles. I tried to do this last year, but found it very difficult to keep up with how the idea of our film evolved. I seem to have a fairly clear visual look for the film, and the challenge for me in the pre-production phase and on set is making sure that vision is understood by everyone. That's something I had problems with in my second year as well, but that's what's so supreme about third year - you really get to march to the beat of your own drum.

I also bought a uke recently. Yiss.
Coming from a different, but perhaps, equally tumultuous part of my brain, is some thoughts about the relationships between people. I find as I get older, it's easier to observe my actions from a more objective standpoint much sooner after a happening. From these observations, I can kind of patch together some reasons I end up doing things, or reacting the way I do. Fixing habits is much easier said than done, but I think it's a step in the right direction (after all). It's funny how much I get hung up on people, being liked by people. Not even people in general, certain people. While I have people in my life who care, my thoughts often do not go to them first. My thoughts get tossed in this bottomless pit of nothing. It's times like this when I'm reminded how important these characters in my life are, the ones who I can talk to and be myself around.

My older self seems to be gaining insight on my younger self.

To all those embarking on shooting in these coming weeks, best of luck! I look forward to seeing more stupendous work coming out of this year.


Things to look at:

I've started a Tumblr for some of my photos! Badger Brown.



9.07.2012

In a round about sort-of way.


Well, a frivolous holiday already come and gone, school started again this week with a weird unfamiliarity with being around people and being so inexcusably out of my comfort zone I could hardly stand it. As of yesterday I'm on my first student film crew of the year, gaffing a grad film - it feels really good. Even the sound of gels being rolled up had a certain je-ne-sais-pas. It's exciting to be learning again, although this semester's workload is extraordinarily daunting. But, the more I think about it, the more I think it's the right kind of workload that keeps me on my feet, not in the crazy house (with any luck). 

I'm still getting fairly ahead of myself with my first semester film, but the script is puttering a long to the eventual completion of the first draft. It'll be a challenge, as I'm incorporating a little bit of everything in it (cinematography-wise): a bit of indoor, outdoor and stop-motion photography. I've started to pull together bits and pieces of crew as I go along. Some large issues that are summing up nicely in the form of panicked jolts in the middle of the night are: time (in general), casting, finances and some critical crew positions I feel unprepared to fill. The chunks of wisdom I've gathered from this week have helped me a little to get back on my feet and start thinking about things in a more organized fashion. I've short listed some films to revisit in lieu of this script, to be brought into a style scheme and mindset. I'm hoping this weekend I can complete a first draft and start assembling a basic style package to pass on to my art director (ooooooooo, I've got one of those).

35mm photography (dispersed throughout this post) has been a great jumping point for me this past month into the exploration of creating depth and texture in photos. While keeping me familiar with the medium of film, it keeps me on the up and up about primes and zoom lenses, and it's actually made me much more aware of light on a day-to-day basis. Photography for me, is more of an exercise than an art form at this point, but I do really enjoy the experience of it. Seeing what I can capture, testing different stocks, seeing the results of an error and being delighted with the effect. I've been shooting mostly black and white, to keep me searching for tone, background/foreground differentiation and how to make a subject interesting without colour. It's actually given me a great deal of confidence going into this semester, where I plan to shoot and direct a short film - despite that people keep cringing every time I tell them my plan to do so. The next step to that is to be able to grant my confidence to a camera operator and a gaffer to enable me to move about my set freely. That's the kicker.


Back in Canmore last week I had some smaller adventures - camping in Elbow Valley, stalking a great grey owl with my Nikon, highland dancing in the beer tent at the Canmore Highland Games, going to a different store to buy pants (good god), getting all your drinks paid for because a friend's making loads more money than you, cheese fondues, so much brie for breakfast, rediscovering the wonders of trail mix, failing at making a pretty cake (just tasted good, I guess), introducing my family to some super cinema (Take Shelter) and eating expensive Alberta sushi. The trip felt rather short, but it was nice to catch up on some sleep, see some people I only see once or twice in a year, plus I rather enjoy chilling with my parents (and my dog) - but it sounds like this winter I'll be coming home for two or three weeks, giving me loads of time to muck about the valley.

I hope everyone is having a solid start to their academic year!


A video you should watch, because fish are radical - so is MBARI:

8.24.2012

Great Manta Ray of Santa Fe -


As I start to piece together this script for the fall, I find myself constantly hung up on the visuals. When I'm sitting down, brainstorming the main conflict in the film and what it can involve - I constantly find myself on the next blank page, making lists of props, costumes, songs, locations, lighting schemes and camera angles. On a secondary front, any story I have tried to write down, I have deemed not a good enough story to tell. On what basis, I'm not entirely sure. I'm not even super sure what sort of films I'd like to make. When I think of my dream jobs, two sort of float to the top. One is working in quality kids films - the other, doing camera operation for programs like Planet Earth, traveling, observing and searching for that perfect, heart-rending shot of a tiny, rare animal making it's way in the world. As much as I'd like to be the ring-master on any project of mine, I really don't think I have the ability to actively produce entire ideas. Of course, I'll give it my all while I'm in school, but it's not something I'd necessarily cling to coming out of  University. I think it would be magnificent to collaborate with a screenwriter at some point - either in a directorial or a cinematography capacity.


While reading Mike Leigh on Mike Leigh, I've come to note certain aspecs of filmmaking that continue to both astound and confound me. The debate over art is something I find particularly futile; what is worth looking at, what is worth money - which pieces affect whom and in what way. Leigh's way of doing things is unique, laborous - and through his practices he gets these devastating dramatic pieces that I, personally, have not seen the likes of. There is a film out there for everyone, I think - and as filmmakers, the possibilities are absolutely endless. Not only are there an astounding number of ways to now go about getting a film made, but film can be made to realize any truth, any dream and any image. It's something I really look forward to being involved in for the rest of my life.

I've also started exploring photography a little more as a source of inspiration for visuals. I've now shot a couple rolls of black and white 35mm stills on loaner cameras. It's a rather exhilarating activity, looking for where the light is just right. And trying to think in black and white is opening up all of these brain-doors that look for texture on a different level than taking colour photos.


Potatoes!
I also made some amazing soup the other day. With the onset of a weird chest cold, I decided that, in 25 degree weather was good weather to make a butt-load of soup in. Using Jamie Oliver's potato and leek recipe as a jumping point, I took garden potatoes, leeks, onions, garlic, carrots, celery and ham - boiled in a vegetable stock with loads of pepper and a couple bay leaves. Delish! My only wish is that our freezer was bigger so I could make bigger batches. And, as a result, eat soup forever. Also, this horrible, horrible cough is remarkably persistent - so make a wider berth around me than you usually would. I seem to have already infected my roommate. Although it doesn't seem to come with any flu-y or congestion problems, it's all up in my chest and it's really awesome.

Having harvested my first (and probably only) head of broccoli yesterday, I think the gardening is winding down. An unfortunate white mildew is slowly preying in my pumpkins, and the peas are all but done. The beans are still coming at alright intervals - onions are still coming, and I picked my first couple of tomatoes from the vine this past week. Sometimes there's a strawberry or two waiting for me in my patio planters when I come home from out and about.

I made a new friend. It's a ukulele. After a couple years of pining after one, after feeling the need to have another interactive hobby that is completely "battery-free", I'm actually having a lot of fun teaching myself how to play an instrument. It picks at my brain in different ways than reading, watching and the like.

I'm due back home in Alberta today! Where many adventures await: camping, hiking, eating, drinking, and all that business. It's a much needed holiday, I think. A time to be away from the pressures of the city for just an ounce of time before I come face to face with an incredibly dense semester. Although my anxiety is peaking at a borderline psychotic level, I think this semester's going to be a lot of fun.

Anyways, a bit of a scrappy, boring to look at post today - but I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their August. And for those returning to school of any kind this September, I feel ya.


Things to feast your eyes upon:

Experience Madeline's excellent cartoon-amazingness!

Remember to keep up with Rock Cottage Year!

Also, ParaNorman was really awesome. I recommend you all go and see it. Plus, the soundtrack is by Jon Brion. So there is nowhere you could go wrong here. At all.

Live in Vancouver, looove movies? Be sure to check out the Vancouver Retro Cinema Festival. PRISCILLA IS PLAYING!

I found this neat, very informative site that describes the inner workings of tons of still photography cameras that are a little on the old side. Here's a link to the Nikon FA portion of the site. Extremely thorough, and rather straightforward. A great guide for n00bs like myself.

8.06.2012

August: Selectively Crispy.

"What is commonest, cheapest, nearest, easiest, is Me,
   Me going in for my chances, spending for vast returns,
   Adorning myself to bestow myself on the first that will take me,
   Not asking the sky to come down to my good will,
   Scattering it freely forever."
                           -Walt Whitman, Song of Myself (14)


I have attained a new personal project. Probably something that will come to reality in the next year or so. But I've gotten pretty stoked on camping. With the success of our second ESL camping trip, plus talking with some amazing people about trips around the Gulf Islands, I've decided to start a collection of one-man camping gear, a touring bike, and some good places to travel to and hunker down for a night or two or three. This last trip has sort of renewed a love for the stars, for bonfires, for picking through rockpools for the most bizarre of sea creatures. A trip to Grandma's Beach on Salt Spring garnered an absolutely amazing array of sea life, just wading up to the knees. Rock crabs, pipe fish, fan worms, baby rock fish (cutest!!), shrimp, brittle stars, star fish, moon jellies and, what I believed to be, a  sort of miscellaneous cnidarian.

I think, a lot of the time, we have a tendency to disregard how attached other people can be to things. Things being... well, anything. Music, movies, moments in time. These iotas of importance in an individuals life. How can one person put down another's love for opera or rap, Leo Tolstoy or George R. R. Martin? I had a really hard time in middle school when in my top ten 'Everything I Will Ever Love Ever' list included things like Lord of the Rings, frogs, writing fantasy novels and science fiction. Lord of the Rings was a turning point, reaffirming filmmaking as my star to shoot for, the first film that I noticed cinematography specifically. I was appalled when people would declare to me that it's lame, or they weren't going to watch it because everyone else has seen it, it's too mainstream. That kind of thing still gets my goat occasionally. Mostly when it comes to film. It's important to keep in mind, the reason our arts scene and culture is so diverse, is that people are individuals - don't knock it til you try it - and it takes all kinds.

I heard about a weird, morally reprehensible thing on CBC the other morning. I guess some kids (and, I guess, parents) have decided it's a good idea for  picked-on youth to get plastic surgery as a means to deter bullying. Now, I'm all for the control of violence and depression in youth - I'm all for giving every kid the ability to stand up for themselves, but this really upset me. It comes back to the "we live in a society that tells us 'don't get raped', instead of 'don't rape'". Here, the message seems to be, 'boys don't like you because you don't have DD breasts? Let's fix that," or, "Don't look like a Hollywood starlett? Being picked on for your (insert any extraneous non-Barbie-like feature here)? We'll fix that right up and make you look like Jocelyn Wildenstein before you've even hit  puberty! Huzzah!" This is a step in the wrong direction for youth. Accepting who you are, and who others are is a much more important (and less invasive) way of dealing with bullying, kids feeling out of place, and building a supportive community in which youth are raised. Kids need to have thicker skins, parents need to be there for when they need support, and as a society, we can't be advocating changing yourself just to 'fit in'. Be yourself, you exist, you're a thing!

I've recently been able to start harvesting some potatoes. Those have come with some hard lessons. My first batch came out small and scarred (but still good), and some web and book research has told me how to avoid those problems. The second hill I dug up was nicer, smooth skinned and more plentiful. I had a bit of an aphid outbreak on my broccoli, but was able to deter them with soap and water treatments, as well as some help from the local ladybug population. I can pull a handful of beans every few days, which is fantastic. I've got a wicked pumpkin well on it's way to being the most show-y thing in my garden. It's about nine inches in diameter and still expanding!

In light of my fifth (yeesh) year at university about to begin, I have started thinking a little more critically about my current and future roles in filmmaking. What kind of films I want to make - and who to make them for (the later, perhaps the most important question of them all). Despite my family egging me on because of my 'youth', I do feel ancient. Every misstep I make feels like a devastating waste of breath - when really, it just takes me down another path; other opportunities, new scenery. I keep getting sucked in to the idea that this industry is incredibly 'cut-throat'. But, the fact of the matter is - it's only cut-throat so long as I play it that way. So long as I believe that every one else will cut me down to get to the top, and I need to do the same - I wont be a happy camper, and I'll be in the wrong state of mind. I think the key for me now is to find a group of people that I really enjoy working with. Filmmaking need not become my ball-and-chain, because I love it - and I always have loved it. Needless to say, I'm rather excited for this next year. I've started picking up a crew member here and there as my script sort of festers at a single page plus a thousand sticky-notes, but y'know... that's how it goes. I'm sure I'll keep that information forthcoming as ideas start forming cohesive bits of narrative. Currently it's colours, character names and snippets of songs. We've got a long way to go yet, but it's going to be great.

Wonderfully enough, I was able to finagle a biology course in with my film courses this fall. Intro to ecology. I'm pretty amped on this for numerous reasons: I love biology, I love animals and behaviors and plants and science. Also, I like having a hard science mixed in with my largely malleable arts courses. While I do appreciate the arts, it's a field of emotion, opinion and the abstract. In a larger sense, there is no right or wrong answer in the arts. The sciences, however, provide me with some much needed concrete-ness. Some fact, some good old fashioned book learning. Quite frankly, it's my grounding in reality, my ground in the importance (or unimportance) of what I do, it's my snap back to the larger picture. Plus! It's a chance to meet some new people. Can't pass up a sweet opportunity like that!

I go on holiday in 17 days. Cannot wait. Yeeeeeeeesh.

I hope everyone had a great, Pride-filled weekend!


Things to chiggity-check:

New (to me) music: Alex TurnerPatrick Wolf

A blog to look at because of reasons.

A refreshing dose of 'get your head out of the sand, here's what feminism actually is all about'.

What's all this about 70mm? A nice explanation of 70mm and it's uses via the Paul Thomas Anderson resource, Cigarettes and Red Vines.

Adorable best friend beasts!

A neat little resource that maps distances. I've been using it to calculate how far I run (not very far) every week. A little more accurate than Google maps. Pretty handy business.


(Hhhhi Nathan)

7.22.2012

There's always peas in my pockets, these days.

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” - E.B. White

 Well, not to brag or anything, but I'm super proud of my little garden. My yard's still pretty hideous, but I put in flowering perennials when I can. I recently put in some lupins, lavender and some various other large-ish flowering perennials.


I'm picking peas by the handful every couple days. Heads of lettuce every week or two. Tons of radishes. My pumpkin plant is just... insane. Gardening has become my weekly rage dump, a place where my brain sort of empties and I get a little zen. Although gardening affords it's own stresses, there are typically practical solutions to any problems I may encounter - whether they be pest, harvesting or upkeep problems. Let's just say gardening is very straight forward, and it's a skill I actually really value having. Plants? Infinitely more simple than people and all of their feeeeeelings.

I've gotten into the habit of looking up birds in the Sibley guide when I see them. My problem, however, seems to be that I have so little skill in identifying birds, I end up sifting through the entire book like three times before I maybe find what a bird might be. Maybe. While I was camping with work (yeah, you heard right), there were these finches that hung around quite a bit. I'm sure they were something quite run of the mill, but for the life of me, I can't identify them. Not even with the book. And the internet. Yeesh.
Today's harvest
My videography gig is keeping my schedule fairly dense. The great thing about being so damned busy - and I think I've even mentioned this before - is the lack of time to sit and stew. I've got time to think - between bus trips, mindlessly cutting together  montages of 10 year olds ransacking Vancouver, picking snap peas - but it's like a higher grade of thinking. Business and general exhaustion just kind of skim off those curdling thoughts that sort of stab at me when I least expect it. Those thoughts of the larger, disturbingly angst-ridden variety. No body wants those.

I've picked up a second summer mantra. So, now there is a little purple bear sitting on my hippocampus wearing a party hat who is chanting 'Meet new people, meet new people'. He's seated next to the little gargling giraffe who shrieks, 'Use your words!'. I'm sure that will be an interesting party once the 'Why put off til tomorrow...' toad gets there with the chips and dip.


My parents came to visit last weekend - this lovely stack of books from Café Books came into my possession. I haven't bought a fiction book for myself in a while. I've either been reading them on my Kindle or getting them from the library. This stack is special because of the influence John Green (and his brother Hank) have had on me. The two of them run a little YouTube channel called Vlogbrothers (among others). John Green can have my money. Why? Because of his philosophy. The Green brothers advocate knowledge, intelligence, community, creativity and positive influence. They're tremendously entertaining, respectful to their fanbase, and really seem just like all-around nice guys. So yes, John Green can have my money. And I'm really stoked to get started on this stack of stories.

On a more serious note, This quote from Christopher Nolan in a statement he issued to the public  (source) sums up a chunk of my feelings about the July 20th shooting in Aurora, Colorado, "The movie theatre is my home, and the idea that someone would violate that innocent and hopeful place in such an unbearably savage way is devastating to me." On top of the fact that this is a massively unnecessary tragedy - for me the cinema is a safe haven, a place of expression, a social outlet, a place to escape. And even though your average Cineplex is considered by most people to be a sticky-floored, over-priced social outing - and even though this tragedy took place far away from me, it hits strangely close to home. And it has rehashed the age-old debate on the right to bear arms. I found Roger Ebert's post on this completely agreeable and logical. I really don't like how one vicious idiot can have such a broad, negative effect on so many people. This week I'm glad I can't afford cable, because I'm guessing the media's taken this and spun it all sorts of ways. It's difficult to see these kinds of things happen, a needless, impulsive action that ends lives, ruins families, and ultimately ends up restricting society through a fear of another incident, and fruitless prevention measures.


ANYWAYS. I hope everyone's July has been great, and is gearing up for August! I'm back in Canmore in a month, sooo... if anyone's out that way, we should have a pint or a coffee sometime. Yiss.

Things to check out!

Remember to keep up with Canadian Frame(lines) !
Mode Moderne - a pretty swell Vancouver-based band.
Who Needs Feminism?


7.11.2012

The Days are Just Packed

And they simply are.

 Well, my first week and a bit with my videography gig down, I realize that - although time flies when the days are rather occupied - they are better days. This in contrast with my June of doing... well... nothing at all. Every week day, after an exhausting trip shooting footage and herding 11 year olds, I come home, cut and convert and upload for two hours - then the rest of the evening is mine. There's less time to stew, more time for actual, practical thinking. A little time to read, a little time to watch movies. Everything's nicely moderated.


  This past weekend, my pet project was figuring out what to do with the yard. We've got a pretty haggard property, as numerous tenants live on it and we're in charge of taking care of it (but no one really does?). Yay, 20-something hosers renting a proper home. Oi. But! I've been out there on my two days off this sunny week, getting sunburned, hacking away at the various infestations that have graced the lawn, planning and replanting some things that didn't like all of that rain we had earlier. On Sunday I pulled up my entire patch of radishes, which I'll slice up and freeze for future stir fries/sandwiches, I also got a couple small-ish heads of romaine lettuce. I picked up some zuccini, onion and celery transplants. Seeded a different variety of carrots and radish. I'm also trying my hand at beets. It's nice and hot now, so all of my tomatoes and peas have been flowering like crazy. I really, really enjoy gardening. I wish I had the time, money and property to try everything.


  I've also decided that, with our lease all renewed, I'd put in some perennials where the landscaping is... lacking (which is most places, but some corners are particularly barren). I'm going to try a combination of transplants/seeds of taller perennials such as lupins, foxgloves and torch lilies. The limitation at this point is money. I'd love to put in blueberry bushes, peonies and the like - but the fact that we're renting and the fact I've got to pay for it isn't all that inspiring.

  I'm really amped to go home at the end of August. I've got another six weeks of videography work, at least three weekends of grip/gaff work and a miriad of other things going down. At the end of all that, I think I'll definitely be ready for a trip home, to hang out with my folks and my dog, drinking beer on the back deck, going on adventures and what not. Maybe (?) I'll have a first or second draft of my fall semester script to pick away at/storyboard. We'll see! I'm also headed to the Canmore highland games on the September long weekend. Helloooo Scottish events/heavy drinking! Aw man! I hope the crazy European candy stand is going to be there this year. That'd be just gravy.



Things to check out:

Manboyhood, a short documentary by Daniel Jeffery

Congratulations to all of the short films from SFU who got into the Montreal Student Film Fest! Sooo many films got in this year, and I'm super proud to be part of that community.

Keep checking out Canadian Frame(lines) with Ryder and Alex. They're in need of tons of support, dolla dolla bills, and press. They're weekly updates are great for keeping up with the project, their press, donations, and what I like most about them is their depth - how we get to see them talk about the steps they are taking to get themselves out there, what has worked, what hasn't. It's rather inspiring, I'd say.

A new friend I found in the bathroom today
I went to see Beyond the Black Rainbow at the Vancity Theater last week - I had seen the trailer last year, and was pretty excited to see a science fiction-esque film based in the past (1983). This film is worth a viewing just for the visual style. Vancouver cinematographer Norm Li utilized the 35mm format for irregular framing, subjects falling in and out of focus, not to mention a wide array of lighting techniques as the mood of the film changes. It was inspiring and refreshing to see, reminding me that, as a filmmaker, there are no bounds. Sure there are rules, but those really need only be used in moderation. I also saw Take Shelter. Holy smokes. Give that one a watch for all sorts of reasons.

7.02.2012

Harvesting Bravery

Happy July everyone! In the two days I've had in the month, I've been whittling my way through Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, making banana bread, and fuming about this and that and the other thing. Namely all of this rain. I just want to see the sun for more than an hour at a time!

Here's something to think about for a moment: the fact that a great many of us think about the same relatively futile things, but are rather persistent in hiding it from one another. It seems rather... absurd. The fact that a great many of us seem to experience the same confusion and doubt on a daily basis - you'd think there would be much more of a community of 'communal human experience'. Apparently this is something that does not exist..

I'm currently doing video work for PRESL Vancouver. It's proved to be a challenge for me, in the first two days, just because I've never had to spit out a couple videos so quickly after shooting the footage every day. My first obstacles came in the compression stage, as the client requested that the files be .wmv. I am on a Mac, so this ended up being a large hullaballoo. What I ended up doing (after numerous 'trial-and-error' programs), is utilizing a little program called Video Monkey. What this allowed me to do was export as a .wmv as well as monitor the file size output, which was vital because we have to upload everything to a server and we have a cap. My job for today was figuring out Automator for Mac to resize and rename photos as per the client's request.  Hair-pulling adventures!

Still whittling away at my film for the fall. I'm getting increasingly attached to it. I've got a bit of conflict going, so I'm going to say - it'll work out just fine. I've got a whimsical wee feeling that I'd like to establish in the styling of the environment and the characters that inhabit it. I think it's going to be a blast. But for now, it's something I might send to my parents as a first draft as a sort of 'how stupid does this sound?' litmus test, then send it on to more critical eyes.

In gardening news, my vegetables have gone a little feral, as I've been a little busy/it's been pouring rain at all hours, and things have gone rather jungle-like. I did harvest some radishes last week though, and my first strawberry of the year. Pretty superb. Looks like the snap peas I planted are going hell-a nuts. Hopefully the weather will not be despicable this weekend, and I can actually caretake my yard/get weird sunburns.

I definitely started watching Doctor Who last week. Cannot stop. Just a heads up. If I disappear for a few days, I'm probably curled up in a dark corner watching Doctor Who.

Toodles!






Things to check out!

Canadian Framelines! Check out Ryder White and Alexandra Caulfield (plus their amazing bus) showing off their splendiferous exploration of Canadian identity, super 8mm film (yes!) and community. They've got an Indiegogo campaign started up, be sure to check out all of their videos!

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, PLUS To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Lamar - between the two, you see Guy Pierce, Hugo Weaving, Terence Stamp, Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo having a pretty swell time in drag. In addition, with Priscilla, you get gorgeous Australian landscapes. You really cannot go wrong here.


6.27.2012

Rain rain go away.

It's been so rainy here in Vancouver! It's getting on my nerves. I just want to sit outside and read as the tomatoes in my garden flourish. I mean really now. Also, carrying your laundry to the laundromat in the rain isn't all that exciting. Neither is hanging laundry to dry. Because it never dries. Ever.

After a weird sort of job shuffle, I am unemployed for the entirety of June. This time without school or work, once a dream to my younger self, has become a penniless adventure in rainy town. Finding things to do has been interesting, making play-dates, going for walks, cleaning the house, vanquishing our jungle-lawn and watching like... three movies a day. Otherwise, for the month of June - I've got a film gig or two lined up, and I've been over to the island for a few days I think to visit my Gran. A myriad of things, I suppose, that I haven't been able to do due to school, work and grinding routine. July and August are going to be a lot of work, so my laziness will probably average to a 'sort of' looking back on the summer over-all.

For when the sun comes out, and stays out: http://www.vancouvertrails.com/trails/capilano-pacific-trail/

Writing exercises - trying to blog a little more (hah, that's going well), journal a little more and attempt to form some sort of a cohesive idea for a film idea or two. I took a screen writing class this past spring and found it quite difficult to form an entire story arc. I enjoy creating characters, environments and inciting incidents - but I can't seem to get the hang of writing conflict. That could be because I actively avoid conflict on a day-to-day basis.


5.29.2012

Summer music. Summer flowers. Summer television. Whatever.

Summer is here, summer is here. So this blog post will be filled with pictures of flowers. Whatever.

Buttercups & Bachelor Buttons
Summer, a time of increased insect traffic in your home, increased beverage consumption when siting outside and increased itchy sunburns. It's a time of summer music, this year it's the Dandy Warhols. I tried out a few others from my middle school days - Green Day (pre-American Idiot), The White Stripes, Blink 182 (oh god, I had forgotten about that video), but none of them have really stuck like they used to. The Dandy's have been playing pretty steady when I'm home. I've found this summer needs a bit more of a robust soundtrack than the combination indie/soft spoken Grizzly Bear sort of stuff that bore me through the rainy winter months.

I finally quit my job last week - which was a difficult, but necessary decision. As much as I really didn't enjoy working there anymore, it still provided a safe little haven where I knew everyone, I was skilled in my skill-less position and a steady paycheque. But really, I just want to get out there and meet people this year, learn new things. I can't do that stuck in the same place, nor can I do that with my perpetual, no exceptions 'better the devil you know' voice of my conscious. I mean really, it's absurd. So away we go!  I am a leaf on the wind. Landed a new job, different service industry, different duties and radically different time schedule. Should be alright for a while, I have a feeling it wont be too prime. But - this summer, I feel, is as much a time to be intrepid as ever. Out we go to experience life in general. I've even got a ladies rugby team all picked out to join once I settle into work.

Violas
A recent daily challenge of mine has been making decent dinner from rice and whatever is left in my house. Solution: super duper stir fry. Base: rice, plus! Leftovers, beans that have been in the freezer forever, egg, spinach, all that business. It turns out not that bad with a bit of olive oil, garlic and sometimes ginger.

And on the note of calling making edible food a 'challenge', I have also been facing tiny other 'challenges' on a daily basis. They're stupid little things, things really not worth telling anyone because they're so... itty bitty and seemingly inconsequential. But knowing how I work in a day to day environment and know how I react to some things (badly), I'm kind of able to make a little list of things to do that I don't usually do that will somehow result in a betterment of person. It goes much like this:

1. Example: after every conversation know what colour the other person's eyes are, or walk around without the protection of a giant bag for a day.
2. ???
3. Profit!

But really. These things just funnel my anxiousness into constructive means. So whatever.

Strawberries!
Transplanting things! First to sprout from my flurry of seeds outdoors was surprisingly pac choi. Closely followed by usual favorites, english breakfast radishes, mescluns and spinach. A few days later, beans and snap peas. On the indoor front, my Brandywine and Sasha's Pride tomatoes just sprouted the other day and are merrily putting up new growth. I recently transplanted peppers, cucumber and canteloupe that were bought as seedlings into larger pots with a healthy dose of Sea Soil Potting Mix. This stuff is gold. Jobe's tomato spikes and a handful of crushed eggshells was mixed in to my fourth garden bed with Sea Soil in preparation for tomato and zuccini transplant today. I've gotta say, in about three or four weeks the garden is gonna be bumpin'.

Anyways, that's what's up. I'm finding that, between my gardening and referring to my tiny animals as 'children', I am sounding rather domestic. Weird.

All the while, I repeat this summer's mantra: "Use your words".



Things to feast your eyes (and whatnot) upon:

   - Maitenance Man is being screened on May 31st at the Pacific Cinematheque, a CineWorks film festival project I gaffed for last month - Back Down the Highway
   - 24 Hour film race, look out for the SFU Film Workshop.
   - Girls - an HBO series in it's first season, I cannot express to you the weird kinds of joy that this show brings me, it's like what Sex and the City should have been, PLUS going through each and every one of my neuroses, making me feel slightly better that someone (however fictional) experiences much of the same. Feeeliiiings.

   - The independent film Choch is available here - read an open letter to supporters by filmmaker Brendan Prost here. Also be sure to check out this interesting independent film distribution phenomenon known as Distrify.

5.13.2012

Summer summer summer

Hiccup!
Summer's here. First up, some feelings - THEN, actual things.
With the withdrawal of the rains, this summer has quickly become daunting, having put financial pressure on myself based on some imaginary 'success scale'. Not having the friendships I did even a summer ago, city life remains a little too lonely. Landing a new job seems a mountain yet to be scaled, the job hunt never ending. Hopefully something will come a long soon. And as I begin eliminating things in my routine that truly remove any "will-to-live" from my brain, this summer may turn out to be bright.

The past year, amidst other things, has made me become overly-wary of myself. I don't enjoy this so much. Not that I've ever been particularly foot-loose and fancy-free, but it's just a heightened sense of personal lame-ness. Fearing I'm not interesting enough, not persistent enough. Fearing I've become a little too callous or a little too fragile.  Wondering, quite constantly, why various individuals don't have any respect for me, or don't want to do something on the weekend, or what have you. It seems, more than any other force, I've become my own self-deprecating, neurotic enemy. High five!

A note on something I've discovered about respect. Prior to now, it never really came across as something important to me, maybe because for most of my existence I have been used to an environment where it is abundant and evenly distributed. This year it's become a liability. Through trial-and-error, I have discovered that someone who doesn't have respect for me can't simultaneously be a friend. It was difficult prescribing what was wrong with some relationships these past semesters, but aye, there's the rub. 'Friends' has become a very "high school" word. Now it's more like 'relationships', as every person I meet seems to have some sort of puzzle that needs to be cracked before we can have a reasonable conversation - and even then, that doesn't really mean anything. People are waffle-y, I'm waffle-y. It makes for strange, temporary and confusing acquaintances. My dad's infernal wisdom, "use your words," has never been more applicable.

In lighter, less whiny news - the semester's over at last, screening and all. The Grad screenings were stupendous, and let's say I feel very privileged to be in cahoots with some of these fine, creatively inclined and talented individuals. Second year, with all of it's... things, put me on a lot of sets and gave me opportunities to make impressions, friends and subsequent connections. I think it was one of the more successful repercussions of the year. I think third year's going to be a riot.  Although, I think I made the same extrapolation going into second year - but a lot's changed.

I've started gardening. I went a little crazy with it, and I guess it will be my surrogate 'something else to do all summer' project. Potatoes, carrots, peas, beans, radishes, broccoli, zucchini, cucumber, strawberries, cantaloupe, tomatoes, peppers, a variety of lettuces - the works. I had an alright crop with one raised bed last year and a late start. This year I've got four raised beds and a whole yard and an early start. It will afford it's own frustrations, I'm sure, but I hope it's going to be remarkably rewarding once it gets going.

One of two drawers brimming with DV tapes
Last summer, before things got weird, I pledged that I'd make a bunch of films on my own. Seeing as how none of those came to any sort of fruition whatsoever, I thought I'd take up the charge again, and see if I can be less estranged from my career path for these four months. I've been thinking about what I can do with a minimal contingency of beings while working full time. I've still got some things to tie up for the Alberta Federation of Shooting Sports project I've had on my plate for some time, and I also recently met with the fellows from Freyberg media to do some intern camera work with them. Other than that, the gears are turning, really. I was thinking the other day of a sort of 'found footage' documentary, based in the boxes (no, literally, boxes) of DV tapes that I've accumulated these past eight or nine years. Editing challenge #1! Yes. Perhaps an attempt to make something worth-while out of something very nostalgic. I started capturing tapes the other day. I haven't touched any of this footage since high school.

Empire's top 500, 2008
I think I also took up the charge to finally get through Empire's top 500 films last summer. Another unfinished goal for myself. I think I'm going to try to tack this project on to the summer as well. I've had this magazine issue since 2008. I've seen a large number of them, but I think it would be great to just push myself and get the rest of those generally accepted 'greats' seen and digested by the time third year rolls around. I most recently watched Amores Perros (2000), Ben-Hur (1959) and Scream (1996) for the first time. 

Anyways, this week is going to be filled with work and me facing my fear of teaching myself how to use a weed eater/lawn mower. So next time I blog, I may be writing to you from a hospital bed with missing appendages. Huzzah.

Cheers, happy summer. I hope the season awards you with many-a beverage on the patio.