To be great.

Like that cinematography post I did a while back, here's another post on things I'm probably not qualified to talk about, or capable of thinking through the whole way. But whatever. I've been sitting on this one for a while, and it's become a bunch of different things. So many picture-less, rambling posts these days!

Something I wonder about frequently is one's ability to become great. Then I get all tangled up in what it means to be great, who I view to be great, why, and what the hell that all means.

Coming to.

I found a quote I rather enjoyed today, I have a feeling it will encompass the coming year:

“…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’”

-	Friedrich Nietzsche

Then I picture that monster as some sort of Kaiju, then I feel pretty cool. Like walking away from an explosion in slow motion.

And here's a post filled with weird brain eddies, et cetera.

It's been a week or two of quiet contemplation, for sure. Sitting on the unprocessed footage of 'My Old Flame' has me in a right state of perma-panic, but that's alright? Probably? It's burning holes in my stomach lining, but here's hoping it'll all be worth it.

Every so often, this thing occurs: That blinking into the light moment after you have seen or read something that rings so rightly with you. It's like coming a step closer to a version of yourself that demonstrates some semblance of completion. It's happened a couple times with things I have read or seen in the past little while. It's liberating to know a piece of literature or a film can still change how you think in such profound ways - it reminds me just how mailable our lives our, and the possibilities that spawn from that.

Along that same vein of consciousness; this week, I've spent some time looking at my weaknesses and evaluating them along with my strengths. The mind's capable of a universe of thoughts - it's nice to be reminded every now and again of what you're actually capable of. Which, give or take, a whole universe of things. It's especially important to remember when you feel a little pinned down by routine and general responsibility. This last year of school already has me in a box. I've been at it so long, it's hard to imagine what life's going to be like when I get 'out'.

The game here is learning control, funnelling growth into the proper avenues. Even when the grind of school is in it's sixth year of... grinding.

I say this every year, and every year the inkling gets a little more... intense. I used to write, I used to write a lot. Not scripts - but stories. They were vast and took me on journeys that I have yet to forget. I have a feeling that this year is a good year to remember that I can write - maybe not critical essays on Arabic cinema, but tall tales. Upon putting pen to paper, I find that I am immediately overwhelmed with the possibilities (and impossibilities) of a whole, completed project - which never used to happen. I would sit down in front of a notebook, and, without an ending in mind, just take these characters through their lives. The end happened when it felt I could make it happen - the end wasn't a means to an end - if that makes sense. But hopefully I can get over this irritating snag and just start freehanding some things that bring some of that ability back.

The semester's now two weeks in. Summer hasn't left yet - which has made the start to my 'fall' confused, humid, and always a little too warm. I find myself pining for cooler days, sweaters, electric blankets, and spicy hot beverages.

However, I'm sure those days will arrive, and I will pine for the sun. The grass is always greener.

I hope everyone has had a constructive start to their semesters!

Things to check out:

FrAcTured is a Fringe festival performance starring the astounding Rachelle Tomm! Check it out! There are only a couple of performances left! I've got my ticket for Friday!

Have you seen NBC's Hannibal, yet? Ho-ly crap.

Everything will probably be fine.

Well, we did it. With the generous help of some superb individuals, principal photography on 'My Old Flame' is complete! This week has been a whirl of things that are the opposite of vacationing, but I guess I can vacation when I am dead. After wrapping last Sunday, seeing my Vancouver and Edmonton crew off, and dropping gear back to Calgary on Monday - I shot a series of promotional videos in Canmore for three businesses, took my drivers test (passed, having only had an inking of how to parallel park for about 12 hours), and got home Saturday morning to a city that feels vacant, and yet, is absolutely brimming with noise.

We had a great cast - composed of Rachelle Tomm, Joe Morris, Chelsea Restall, and Joanne Hope.  All wonderful to work with, able to look beyond their lines and right into their character. Plus, our dynamite crew - Daniel Jeffery (assistant director), Christian Lai (gaffer), Nataliya Fedulova (production designer), Justin Madsen (sound), Lauren Tamke (camera assistant), and Amy Diedrich (hair and make-up). We also had some help from Robert - and for our overnight shoot at Café Books - we had the generous super-help of Joy Mclean, Jocey Asnong, and Jasmin Nadeau.

Plus, support from Amanda Suhan, Sandra Wheeler, Sue Girard, Rheanna Toy, Joel Salaysay - and of course, mom and dad - who housed and catered the entire affair, much to their collective horrors. Numerous thanks as well to Panavision, William F Whites, Clairmont Camera, and FAVA.

It's really hard communicating the size of  film set when you're about to move into a location. The people and the gear are always more than they expect. It was even a surprise for my parents, who were slightly overwhelmed by the number of things in their kitchen. Thankfully, we weren't in any space too long, and we had people with decent amount of patience on your side. I made sure we were fully insured, I laid out everything clearly to all of the locations involved. My typical 65% organized was up at about 90%, and that's nice when that happens. I do think it was a success. We got everything done with ample time, everyone was happy (I think), and it's always nice dealing with film. We had only one unloading issue, and one camera trouble shooting issue - which was promptly solved by me throwing batteries around. We cool.

Things I have (re)learned:

1. For the love of god, always ask questions, questions do not hurt

2. Get a crew you like, and who can get a long with each other, especially when the project is on your dime - that one person who's not on the ball can drag the whole thing around

3. It's tough, but you've got to lead a stress example, the moment you become stressed is the moment everyone else becomes stressed and things get messy
4. If your film spaghettis in the change bag, don't panic, even if it turns in a horrible, knotted monster - somewhere there is a beginning of that roll, and an end
5. If you can, get more gear than you need - I supplied my crew with tons of most things, why? Because on a lot of sets I've worked on, there is a lack of one thing that makes everything slog along - whether it's something as inconsequential as tape, clothespins, sandbags - or things like food, drink, and dry socks
6. Stick to your guns - if your vision butts up against an obstacle on set, push right on through - that vision is what will keep this thing together in the end
7. Repeat the mantra: everything will probably be fine

Thank you, everyone - for your ongoing support, your hard work, and your standard of excellence that helped push this production forward!

In this lull that is pre-post-production, and after my relocation to Vancouver - it hardly feels it happened it all. The only telling factor is a stack of 14 rolls of film sitting in my house that wasn't there previously, and a duffel bag in the middle of the kitchen that I am too lazy to unpack. The sooner I can get that film developed, the sooner I can feel like something was accomplished (I mean, something other than a fun shoot). The next steps for me concern a stop motion character who I wrote in (and shot very... unorthodox plates for). The research phase will be a little longer, as he will be a fully articulate figure. I'll be sure to post updates as those arise. 

After an evening of Whistler grapefruit ale on Saturday, and a morning brunch at Thyme to Indulge on Sunday, yesterday was my half day of holiday before getting back into the thick of things. School starts today - it will be an intrepid year of strange things. It feels like there's a bit of a storm on the horizon, but it isn't very clear. There are tons of shoots, and I'm very pleased to be crewing on many of them.

After such a strange, stress-saturated summer, I'm feeling ready, these days, for the cool, sweater-weather of fall. Though, with some bitterness, as I felt I have squandered these summer months in editing suites and not doing anything outdoorsy at all. I picked up some spicy Camino hot chocolate today, so when that damp chilly snap comes, warming beverage and alpaca hair sweaters are in arms reach.

Great news! My fall 2012 film, My Favourite Things, has been selected for the second annual Canadian Young Actors Film Festival! Tickets are $10 for the Gala and Awards on September 21st! More information here! This is the first of my films to be accepted into a festival - I'm super proud of my cast - Eliana, Tytan, and Dawson - pleased as pie! Thank you, as well, to my crew, classmates, and supporters!

Things to look at!

Human Town! A webseries I key gripped on for a few days, produced, in part, by a bunch of SFU grads - it's dark and wonderful, check it out, throw them some support!

Check out SFU grad, Graeme Achurch's film, The Rat on the Contender's Magazine blog!

Chelsea, who played the role of Teddy in 'My Old Flame' also has a blog! Check her out - notes about acting, writing, and life in general

Pop culture ice cream.

One of my favorite Tumblr, second only to Gene Kelly's Butt.

A reminder: Astronaut's advice