Articulation.

Apologies, another 'these are my feelings' post. I'm very antsy and stressed, I've got to get it out somehow.

After this long haul of two semesters draws to an uncomfortably hasty close, I'm disappointed, exhausted and anxiety ridden. As much as I am ready for this hell-child to be delivered, there's still tons of work to do on our short film for this semester. Trying to tie up the lose ends while job hunting like a fiend, prepping end of semester assignments, battling colds (seemingly all the time?) and getting some shut eye every so often has been difficult. But we're screening May 1st, 2012. So save the date. Save it good. If you love seeing blood, sweat and tears shot on super 16mm film, this screening sure as hell is for you.

I've got a couple sewing projects in tow, just paper plans at the moment. But in the mean time check out this totally normal looking, sort of kitch felt pear I made! To tell you the truth, this pear did have a goofy face. But due to the unlikelihood of people enjoying pears with weird faces as much as myself, I removed it. I mean, I enjoy creating monsters so much more, but I think there is more of a 'market' for classier felties with less of my own brand of psychotic flair.

I am now one of those idiots with one of everything on the internet. Mubi, GoodReads, Pinterest. No wonder I find myself wasting so much time doing things that don't really amount to anything.

The library continues to be a dear friend, I'm now waist deep in Herzog on Herzog by Paul Cronin and it's just absolutely fantastic. Herzog's attitude about, not only filmmaking, but life in general is an absolute gem. I'm really quite enjoying these filmmaker and cinematographer interviews. Although they provide no technical know-how, they instill a certain set of personal values - a sort of code of living, communicating and creating with one's self and others. I find the interviews absolutely enthralling. I've got Scorsese, Leigh, Wilder, Wenders and Tarkovsky lined up for April.

I've spent a lot of time worrying about what other people think of me lately. All this has been so distracting, I could be putting my brain power to something useful! Something that doesn't cause a self-consciousness collapse mid-conversation with an acquaintance. I can identify these short comings with insane accuracy, but it's as if my brain decides that no, it doesn't want to fix it's problems, and I continue in a particularly misconstrued fashion and no progress is made. My brain and I have what I like to call a 'working relationship'.

I am experiencing a feeling of unease these past few days. Past the end of semester stresses, past the always-present anxious sort of nervousness I experience on a daily basis. But I think I just pushed the unease and found this strange, exhilarating space in my consciousness. After dunking myself in a vat of responsibility and new experiences this past weekend on a certain short film, I think I tore open a small corner of the giant tarp suffocating my brain with fear and doubt and all of those wonderful feelings. I deserve a little corner of satisfaction, and I think to remain in a cold, dark corner only to maintain a sense of security is an excuse that I should not be making. The world is a very, very large place. There's room to wander, to change direction, to broaden one's horizons.

So there it is. Onwards, if not upwards.

Anyways, some things you should look at:

Cinnamon Bun. A legitimate song my roommate and I wrote while procrastinating one evening.

The Virtual Stage - a Vancouver based organization combining theater with new media, be sure to check out the Cruel and Unusual short film updates!

The Hobbit Production Blogs - they make my day, every day

Les Blank's documentary Werner Herzog Eats his Shoe, in lieu of Errol Morris' success.