Forty eight hundred feet's worth of tiny pictures!

Well folks, seems all that hard work paid off - all 4800 feet of the film came back just fine and dandy.

Fuji 160T

Delivered in boxes that suspiciously look like they should be housing pizza, the negative smells of that old, familiar celluloid. I rediscover how much I miss having a hard copy of the things I shoot. A mishandled SD or Red card can mean you've lost your day. But, I suppose the downside is, I'll be hauling this processed footage around for the rest of my days. 

It was recently delivered to one of my two editors - who will sync up the sound and produce the assembly cut of the film. I only skimmed the footage when it came back to me - so I really look forward to seeing it in some sort of order and with sound. It will then be delivered to my second editor, who will take it through to fine cut.

Kodak 500T

Seeing 16mm footage makes me just feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. After a couple years of seeing rushes from the Red Scarlett and Epic, I just sink in to the grain, and the softness of the image. It's the bean bag chair of cinema mediums. I shot the film on four stocks, mostly because I could, and just seeing how those four stocks reacted to colour... it just makes me love the medium (even more!). I was having major buyers remorse in the time between when the film left Seattle and arrived here. The process and transfer costs ran almost twice what I had budgeted - which amounts to a lot of money. But seeing what we accomplished on celluloid was definitely reward enough, even for a mountain of money that I don't have.

Over the past couple weeks, I have plunged head first into the world of stop-motion animation. Part of me is absolutely falling in love with the process (which will make falling out of love when I go to actually do it all the more... explosive) and the other part of me is feeling completely refreshed at just this new body of names, history, and knowledge. Maybe it's because I've spend six years in film school and I'm tired of those same old names popping up - but it's nice to not sigh and say 'ugh, not him again'. I've been reading through an absolutely incredible book called The Advanced Art of Stop-Motion Animation by Ken A. Priebe, and have another little pile of books to leaf through after that. Going through stop-motion's history is a weird combination of technological track backs, cultural history, and the ebb and flow of the film industry itself. I'm absolutely revelling in it - and it's nice to be interested in a topic I'm actually doing in school. But I guess it's a topic I picked... and I'm basically paying to research things on my own time... but shh.

Kodak 250D

I've got a pile of things prepared for next week when I go to put the puppet of Tinder together. I keep thinking its going to be a breeze, but deep down, I know it's going to be a bit of a fight. I keep wanting to set aside my studying this week to do some sculpting and sewing, but that tiny part of my brain that is actually responsible keeps pulling me back in front of my textbooks, even if the rest of me is sort of completely unenthused.

All mixed in with this, I've been piecing together little press kits about my last two digital short films, 'My Favourite Things' and 'A Spoonful of Sugar'. I'm continuing to feel out the festival distribution routes, and these two films are sort of providing me with two different kinds of guinea pigs to see what's up. 'My Favourite Things' is now online and available for viewing on Vimeo.

Rest assured, I have like... three other blog posts started about a bunch of futile feelings I have concerning a lot of large-question, not-a-lot-of-answer problems that I seem to be painfully mulling over these days. I picked up a book earlier this month thinking it was about how wonderful whales are, but it ended up being more about the horrors of the whaling industry - which all week has spun me in that familiar arc of that frustrating environmentalist loop. I've also been experiencing something I'm sure there's a term for, but can't quite put my finger on it - it's a large-and-in-charge disappointment with popular culture. I guarantee that's going to be a rambling post you can all look forward to.

Fuji 64D

So, back to 'My Old Flame', that working title that's starting to stick - thank you - again - to my cast, my crew, my family, proofreaders, location volunteers, supporters, rental houses, believers(?). We had a great shoot, I can now definitively say since there are pictures on the celluloid for sure. Now the next steps can finally start, we can start tentatively jogging to the finish line somewhere in the distance. A screening location will soon be secured - and rest assured I will bother you all about being there from now until May 2014. So prepare yourselves for that.

And I listen to the irritating fireworks that go off every three minutes here in East Van, I am wishing you all a safe and happy Halloween!

Things to look at:

I started a Facebook page for my film 'company' - become a fan! See some things! (Also, tweet? Tumblr?)

Joel's film 'Buttfuck Nowhere' is on the NSI!
Check out Girls with Swords and the Kickstarter that launched
Feminist Frequency - be sure to check out the Tropes vs Women series they've got
And if you want more rage, check out Not in the Kitchen Anymore

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
I'm really excited about Hyper Light Drifter

Remember, everybody's got a thing

Salutations, autumnal breeze.

And by autumnal breeze, I mean raindrops both large and cold.

“The thing is you have to fight the whole time. You can’t stop. Otherwise you just end up somewhere, bobbing in the middle of a life you never wanted.”

—	Alexander Maksik, You Deserve Nothing

While I sit patiently waiting for my film to return to me from it's trip to Seattle, I would like to talk briefly about all of these 'Generation Y' articles that seem to go through fits and spurts of straight up bothering me on all social media fronts. Even last year they lured me in with their apathetic temptations. Every time I read one of these (or, pretty much any article from the Thought Catalog) I feel conflicted. The internal conversation always went something like, 'sure, sure yeah, I can sort of relate, I guess,' followed by an uncomfortable silence in which I would try to figure out why this article even mattered. Why I felt so troubled about these articles wasn't ever inherently clear to me - they were just frustrating to read. Generalizing problems through such vague and blanketing terms, their fates seemed similar to that of the astrology column of your local newspaper. Bitching about being a twenty-something now seems to be the 'it' thing to do. Not offering up any solutions, nor questions that we can work towards an answer. Everyone says we're lost, doing not enough of one thing (sex/drugs/rock and roll), not enough of another (sex/drugs/rock and roll). 

I would like to offer you this counter article in Contenders Magazine written by the affable Alex Caulfield: 100 Things that Prove You're an Asshole - seek out the original article if you wish, but I did, and I was faced with immediate regret.

I'm finding articles on the internet more and more irrelevant and frivolous as ever. A lot of things circulated around the blogosphere are just plain irresponsible. And there's just so much of it. I can't take much at face value because the internet is full of trolls and hoaxes.

The problem with a lot of these Gen-Y/nutburger articles is trying to pin blame on things.  And then, while my eyes are open to all that blame-slinging, I see so much more! When I was home in August, I had my two time-a-year access to satellite TV, and the 24 hour news cycle (and Guy Fieri marathons, who are we even kidding). All I was able to see on the news is people trying to blame things on other people. Yes, so this happened - who can we blame? Some parents in the United States are still trying to get John Green's books banned - let's blame a young adult fiction writer for exposing things to our children that we haven't been able to explain to them because there is no way the real world will ever effect them in any way. Your kid fell off a jungle gym - the obvious solution is, apparently, to label the playground as 'dangerous' and berate whoever is in charge to dismantle it or you'll sue. So your kids aren't getting good grades in high school - obviously, the solution is to blame the teacher's ineptitude while your kid learns nothing of value, not from school, and not from you. The winner these days is never the good guy, it's whoever gets away scott-free. It seems that the one who slings the most slander becomes saintly.

And becoming aware of this common string - I am rather aware now of how I utilize blame in my own day-to-day activities. It takes a lot to change your own perspective in life, a lot of the time it's easier to remain the same, remain ignorant, remain blind. The more positively-inclined teachers at my high school made it abundantly clear to me back in the day, that change begins with one person. This meant something to me when I was in my teens (it mostly had to do with recycling), but it means something slightly different to me now. 'Be the change you want to see' is this rope I hang onto above a deep, dark pool of all of the big, unfortunate problems that plague humanity. If you look down for too long, it gets really depressing. I mean, those are some large-and-in-charge problems. But that rope is what you've got. So, hand over hand, you've got to climb. At a certain point, you resign to the fact you'll be climbing for the rest of your days, so you climb. My climb begins - on an infinitesimal scale - I'm weirded out with people not making any eye contact in my neighbourhood. So I've started making eye contact with like... everyone. Whether it's little things, big things, or everything, take it and do your best to fix it, even if no body else is giving it a try.

Okay, and here's one more thing, here's a new pet peeve I have. In fact, it's become a big, snarling pet peeve. It might have something to do with that big, dark pool previously stated. See, for a long time, I haven't known what I wanted in the short to long term. In the past two or three years, I've been figuring those things out. It's sort of like feeling your way across a snow-crusted glacier. That shit's scary. But if you survive, you learn, and off you go to another glacier. I've been figuring out what I value, what I need to get to where I've got to go. While I was figuring those things out - it was common place to sort of get stepped on. After getting stepped on one too many times, however, that lesson's been (finally) learned. And upon presenting someone new with a list of things that are, to me, common sense - I was met with abject back-pedalling. The first time I was able to call someone out, they tried to weasel out of it by saying I was wrong. Naturally, I was hurt, but the hurt was so temporary. Because I knew I was in the right. It was so magnificently empowering - hell, I might just need to do if more often.

Respect isn't even something to be earned, it's something you've got to demand. Sometimes you literally have to shake it out of other people, or leave them behind. I don't even know.

Here's to a self-imposed ban on letting people walk all over me.

Anyways.

My film was shipped last Monday. I await for it's return, and with it, all sorts of truths. When it comes back, that box will be either filled with a great deal of worth, or none at all. It's driving me bananas. Bananas, I say!

It's been a weird month back in Vancouver. I feel I'm behind in all aspects of things. Really feeling the rain, and we've only gotten a toe into fall.

Is there strength in solitude? Perhaps.

Probably old news, but you all should probably read Markus Zusak's The Book Thief.

Oh, and the photos in this post are ones I took in August in Canmore - trying out Lomography's colour 800 speed 35mm still film. So good, so vibrant, very versatile. I pretty much just love Lomography. So. There.

Happy rain, everyone!

Things to look at!

I've got to recommend the Netflix original series Orange is the New Black
Jaeger Designer - I don't even care, this was a fun ten minutes of my life
Dating Tips for the Feminist Man - a good read for everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality
Canadian Frame(lines) is raising money for yet another project of super-ambition!
VIFF is in town! The most wonderful time of the year, second only to Christmas!
And while at VIFF, I saw Jessica Oreck's new documentary Aatsinki - she's a very cool lady who does very cool projects (like this one) - there is also a super interactive website they've done up called The Aatsinki Season
Be sure to check out Plastic, a short film by Sandy Widyanata about body image

To be great.

Like that cinematography post I did a while back, here's another post on things I'm probably not qualified to talk about, or capable of thinking through the whole way. But whatever. I've been sitting on this one for a while, and it's become a bunch of different things. So many picture-less, rambling posts these days!

Something I wonder about frequently is one's ability to become great. Then I get all tangled up in what it means to be great, who I view to be great, why, and what the hell that all means.

Coming to.

I found a quote I rather enjoyed today, I have a feeling it will encompass the coming year:

“…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’”

-	Friedrich Nietzsche

Then I picture that monster as some sort of Kaiju, then I feel pretty cool. Like walking away from an explosion in slow motion.

And here's a post filled with weird brain eddies, et cetera.

It's been a week or two of quiet contemplation, for sure. Sitting on the unprocessed footage of 'My Old Flame' has me in a right state of perma-panic, but that's alright? Probably? It's burning holes in my stomach lining, but here's hoping it'll all be worth it.

Every so often, this thing occurs: That blinking into the light moment after you have seen or read something that rings so rightly with you. It's like coming a step closer to a version of yourself that demonstrates some semblance of completion. It's happened a couple times with things I have read or seen in the past little while. It's liberating to know a piece of literature or a film can still change how you think in such profound ways - it reminds me just how mailable our lives our, and the possibilities that spawn from that.

Along that same vein of consciousness; this week, I've spent some time looking at my weaknesses and evaluating them along with my strengths. The mind's capable of a universe of thoughts - it's nice to be reminded every now and again of what you're actually capable of. Which, give or take, a whole universe of things. It's especially important to remember when you feel a little pinned down by routine and general responsibility. This last year of school already has me in a box. I've been at it so long, it's hard to imagine what life's going to be like when I get 'out'.

The game here is learning control, funnelling growth into the proper avenues. Even when the grind of school is in it's sixth year of... grinding.

I say this every year, and every year the inkling gets a little more... intense. I used to write, I used to write a lot. Not scripts - but stories. They were vast and took me on journeys that I have yet to forget. I have a feeling that this year is a good year to remember that I can write - maybe not critical essays on Arabic cinema, but tall tales. Upon putting pen to paper, I find that I am immediately overwhelmed with the possibilities (and impossibilities) of a whole, completed project - which never used to happen. I would sit down in front of a notebook, and, without an ending in mind, just take these characters through their lives. The end happened when it felt I could make it happen - the end wasn't a means to an end - if that makes sense. But hopefully I can get over this irritating snag and just start freehanding some things that bring some of that ability back.

The semester's now two weeks in. Summer hasn't left yet - which has made the start to my 'fall' confused, humid, and always a little too warm. I find myself pining for cooler days, sweaters, electric blankets, and spicy hot beverages.

However, I'm sure those days will arrive, and I will pine for the sun. The grass is always greener.

I hope everyone has had a constructive start to their semesters!

Things to check out:

FrAcTured is a Fringe festival performance starring the astounding Rachelle Tomm! Check it out! There are only a couple of performances left! I've got my ticket for Friday!

Have you seen NBC's Hannibal, yet? Ho-ly crap.

Everything will probably be fine.

Well, we did it. With the generous help of some superb individuals, principal photography on 'My Old Flame' is complete! This week has been a whirl of things that are the opposite of vacationing, but I guess I can vacation when I am dead. After wrapping last Sunday, seeing my Vancouver and Edmonton crew off, and dropping gear back to Calgary on Monday - I shot a series of promotional videos in Canmore for three businesses, took my drivers test (passed, having only had an inking of how to parallel park for about 12 hours), and got home Saturday morning to a city that feels vacant, and yet, is absolutely brimming with noise.

We had a great cast - composed of Rachelle Tomm, Joe Morris, Chelsea Restall, and Joanne Hope.  All wonderful to work with, able to look beyond their lines and right into their character. Plus, our dynamite crew - Daniel Jeffery (assistant director), Christian Lai (gaffer), Nataliya Fedulova (production designer), Justin Madsen (sound), Lauren Tamke (camera assistant), and Amy Diedrich (hair and make-up). We also had some help from Robert - and for our overnight shoot at Café Books - we had the generous super-help of Joy Mclean, Jocey Asnong, and Jasmin Nadeau.

Plus, support from Amanda Suhan, Sandra Wheeler, Sue Girard, Rheanna Toy, Joel Salaysay - and of course, mom and dad - who housed and catered the entire affair, much to their collective horrors. Numerous thanks as well to Panavision, William F Whites, Clairmont Camera, and FAVA.

It's really hard communicating the size of  film set when you're about to move into a location. The people and the gear are always more than they expect. It was even a surprise for my parents, who were slightly overwhelmed by the number of things in their kitchen. Thankfully, we weren't in any space too long, and we had people with decent amount of patience on your side. I made sure we were fully insured, I laid out everything clearly to all of the locations involved. My typical 65% organized was up at about 90%, and that's nice when that happens. I do think it was a success. We got everything done with ample time, everyone was happy (I think), and it's always nice dealing with film. We had only one unloading issue, and one camera trouble shooting issue - which was promptly solved by me throwing batteries around. We cool.

Things I have (re)learned:

1. For the love of god, always ask questions, questions do not hurt

2. Get a crew you like, and who can get a long with each other, especially when the project is on your dime - that one person who's not on the ball can drag the whole thing around

3. It's tough, but you've got to lead a stress example, the moment you become stressed is the moment everyone else becomes stressed and things get messy
4. If your film spaghettis in the change bag, don't panic, even if it turns in a horrible, knotted monster - somewhere there is a beginning of that roll, and an end
5. If you can, get more gear than you need - I supplied my crew with tons of most things, why? Because on a lot of sets I've worked on, there is a lack of one thing that makes everything slog along - whether it's something as inconsequential as tape, clothespins, sandbags - or things like food, drink, and dry socks
6. Stick to your guns - if your vision butts up against an obstacle on set, push right on through - that vision is what will keep this thing together in the end
7. Repeat the mantra: everything will probably be fine

Thank you, everyone - for your ongoing support, your hard work, and your standard of excellence that helped push this production forward!

In this lull that is pre-post-production, and after my relocation to Vancouver - it hardly feels it happened it all. The only telling factor is a stack of 14 rolls of film sitting in my house that wasn't there previously, and a duffel bag in the middle of the kitchen that I am too lazy to unpack. The sooner I can get that film developed, the sooner I can feel like something was accomplished (I mean, something other than a fun shoot). The next steps for me concern a stop motion character who I wrote in (and shot very... unorthodox plates for). The research phase will be a little longer, as he will be a fully articulate figure. I'll be sure to post updates as those arise. 

After an evening of Whistler grapefruit ale on Saturday, and a morning brunch at Thyme to Indulge on Sunday, yesterday was my half day of holiday before getting back into the thick of things. School starts today - it will be an intrepid year of strange things. It feels like there's a bit of a storm on the horizon, but it isn't very clear. There are tons of shoots, and I'm very pleased to be crewing on many of them.

After such a strange, stress-saturated summer, I'm feeling ready, these days, for the cool, sweater-weather of fall. Though, with some bitterness, as I felt I have squandered these summer months in editing suites and not doing anything outdoorsy at all. I picked up some spicy Camino hot chocolate today, so when that damp chilly snap comes, warming beverage and alpaca hair sweaters are in arms reach.

Great news! My fall 2012 film, My Favourite Things, has been selected for the second annual Canadian Young Actors Film Festival! Tickets are $10 for the Gala and Awards on September 21st! More information here! This is the first of my films to be accepted into a festival - I'm super proud of my cast - Eliana, Tytan, and Dawson - pleased as pie! Thank you, as well, to my crew, classmates, and supporters!

Things to look at!

Human Town! A webseries I key gripped on for a few days, produced, in part, by a bunch of SFU grads - it's dark and wonderful, check it out, throw them some support!

Check out SFU grad, Graeme Achurch's film, The Rat on the Contender's Magazine blog!

Chelsea, who played the role of Teddy in 'My Old Flame' also has a blog! Check her out - notes about acting, writing, and life in general

Pop culture ice cream.

One of my favorite Tumblr, second only to Gene Kelly's Butt.

A reminder: Astronaut's advice

Nearing the end of preproduction...

Also known as the most anxiety ridden/wonderful time of the year!

When all of those pieces start to come together - and all that stress and worry and hard work has actually culminated into something - that's what's special. When it rains, it pours - and this film was no exception to that strange phenomenon. After stressing about crewing this film (oh, since... say... February), suddenly I am awash with help - from studio space, to people's time, to 'anything you need'. It's fantastic.

Sitting back yesterday, I realized that all of my logistics - after fighting with them for a month or two - are now organically coming together. With my assistant director, and production designer on board, I can now delegate some of the more tedious tasks to others and concentrate on getting the script in shape, and getting the visuals under control.

After casting, the script has become a different animal - and it has been much easier to revise. Knowing my budget/locations/scheduling limits help me form details around things. I know that isn't the proper approach - but going from 'the sky's the limit' in those first few drafts, for me, pairing it down to what is possible is a healthier progression coming into these final drafts.

Something I'm finding this time around, is that I don't actually mind writing, directing, and producing. But I think, in the long run, a career of cinematography with a side-hobby of directing would be the ideal. Even doing a bit of directing during casting reminded me that, somewhere inside my shy person, is a person who can actually talk to people, and more often than not, give generous and constructive feedback. This is something I frequently forget in classroom and workplace environments.

With generous help from Amanda Suhan, Sandra Wheeler, Theatre Alberta, ACTRA Alberta, Calgary Arts Development, William F. White, Panavision, FAVA, Clairmont Camera, and - of course - mom and dad, the production's making a nice transition from preproduction, right into the mighty nitty-gritty. 

It's time to be come best friends with film stock info sheets, and storyboards.

Things to Check Out:

I was interviewed by Meagan Clark for CKUA's ArtBeat! If you missed it, check out the episode online (August 11th).

Werner Herzog's short documentary about texting and driving - realizing that it isn't something people do maliciously, but it's something that can be avoided by being consious of the world around you.

Keep an eye out for the Canadian Youth Film Festival! My Favourite Things was just submitted - it should be a great night!

Remember to keep up with production on my twitter: agrio_therium!

Booking. Thunder. Casting. Lightning.

August is upon us. Insert typical comment on how time flies here.

I have been in Alberta for five weeks already... my time with the Banff Centre has almost expired... already! As I juggle preproduction and a job that requires a larger amount of creative input than I'm used to, I'm finding myself relatively exhausted. Though, the mountains are a strange source of energy, and of inspiration. Going for tea at the Centre every morning usually comes with the unique pleasure of coming within arms distance of an elk or deer in the crisp grass. Walking through the streets and watching as a thundering storm comes down the valley (there have been a lot of these this year). Whether or not I am able to see things more clearly is up for debate, but I am seeing things differently.

The film is going through various stages of really stressing me out, but I suppose that's the litmus test for learning new things. We had a very decent turn out for auditions - I was pleasantly surprised by the enthusiasm brought into the audition studio by people who had travelled a fair distance to get to me.  We had people from Cochrane, Calgary, Canmore, even Brooks. Some great ideas, thoughts, and criticisms came out of these sessions - I'd say it was a phenomenal first attempt at casting in Alberta. We received interest from CKUA, and a very cool lady named Meagan Clark came out and did a quick interview with me Monday morning. This was very, very cool. Talking about my project to people who want to hear it just gets me going, and forms these lovely creative ebbs that just carry me along through my lengthy preproduction days.

And of course, I will begin thanking people now - even though my thank-yous will continue until this film reaches the eyes of an audience and beyond... much thanks to old film camp friend, Amanda, for being my reader and casting assistant, plus keeping me company for like... twenty hours. And much thanks as well to Sandra, for use of her very nostalgic and fantastic dance studio.

It was great being able to hear my script being read for the first time, and some people brought some really interesting things to their characters. It's a feeling you really remember. The film has never felt more real, more exciting, and now we're really in the deep end.

The entire filmmaking process seems a series of financial and emotional ups and downs, this film providing the biggest yet. I feel a teensy bit bipolar when an e-mail favouring or stomping on my pre-production arrives on my phone and I proceed to act accordingly. If it's good news, yes - I'm awake, I'm ready, let's do this - let's go send more e-mails! If the news is bad - it's the apocalypse, the world is abysmal. In a single thought, it's exhausting. It's a delicate balance I'm not that great at keeping up. As anyone who has probably had to stand a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in the past month knows.

New Logos are happening while I should
probably be doing other things

As my brain boils in my skull, I've been soothing my soul with Luciano Pavarotti, Tchaikovsky, Shubert... plus, soothing my 12 year old self with Spongebob Squarepants and Adventure Time therapy treatments every day or two. In the past year, I think I've started to understand how to handle myself under stress. (Finally) after five years of post-secondary... stress doesn't mean the whole system grinds to a halt any more. And that is super!

I've assembled a handy little crew, made of a unique blend of SFU film students, SAIT alumni, plus some extras. A bit of good news, or a budget reduction goes a long way. There's a lot of work to be done, as there will be through until the production phase of 'My Old Flame' is complete.

The more time I spend away from Vancouver, the more of this weird relief I feel. It's going to be a busy last year, but I will graduate in the spring, pack up, and move to a new city.

Cheers,

Things to check out:

Please, please, please - check out this TEDtalk by Colin Stokes - "How movies teach manhood"

Shakey Films have a new thing going on - check out the trailer(s) for JIMBO.

The first annual Moonrise Film Fesitival - TONS of SFU content in this one!

I'll probably be Tweeting/Instagraming the crap out of my production - follow Agriotherium Films on the Twitter