Coming to.

I found a quote I rather enjoyed today, I have a feeling it will encompass the coming year:

“…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.’”

-	Friedrich Nietzsche

Then I picture that monster as some sort of Kaiju, then I feel pretty cool. Like walking away from an explosion in slow motion.

And here's a post filled with weird brain eddies, et cetera.

It's been a week or two of quiet contemplation, for sure. Sitting on the unprocessed footage of 'My Old Flame' has me in a right state of perma-panic, but that's alright? Probably? It's burning holes in my stomach lining, but here's hoping it'll all be worth it.

Every so often, this thing occurs: That blinking into the light moment after you have seen or read something that rings so rightly with you. It's like coming a step closer to a version of yourself that demonstrates some semblance of completion. It's happened a couple times with things I have read or seen in the past little while. It's liberating to know a piece of literature or a film can still change how you think in such profound ways - it reminds me just how mailable our lives our, and the possibilities that spawn from that.

Along that same vein of consciousness; this week, I've spent some time looking at my weaknesses and evaluating them along with my strengths. The mind's capable of a universe of thoughts - it's nice to be reminded every now and again of what you're actually capable of. Which, give or take, a whole universe of things. It's especially important to remember when you feel a little pinned down by routine and general responsibility. This last year of school already has me in a box. I've been at it so long, it's hard to imagine what life's going to be like when I get 'out'.

The game here is learning control, funnelling growth into the proper avenues. Even when the grind of school is in it's sixth year of... grinding.

I say this every year, and every year the inkling gets a little more... intense. I used to write, I used to write a lot. Not scripts - but stories. They were vast and took me on journeys that I have yet to forget. I have a feeling that this year is a good year to remember that I can write - maybe not critical essays on Arabic cinema, but tall tales. Upon putting pen to paper, I find that I am immediately overwhelmed with the possibilities (and impossibilities) of a whole, completed project - which never used to happen. I would sit down in front of a notebook, and, without an ending in mind, just take these characters through their lives. The end happened when it felt I could make it happen - the end wasn't a means to an end - if that makes sense. But hopefully I can get over this irritating snag and just start freehanding some things that bring some of that ability back.

The semester's now two weeks in. Summer hasn't left yet - which has made the start to my 'fall' confused, humid, and always a little too warm. I find myself pining for cooler days, sweaters, electric blankets, and spicy hot beverages.

However, I'm sure those days will arrive, and I will pine for the sun. The grass is always greener.

I hope everyone has had a constructive start to their semesters!

Things to check out:

FrAcTured is a Fringe festival performance starring the astounding Rachelle Tomm! Check it out! There are only a couple of performances left! I've got my ticket for Friday!

Have you seen NBC's Hannibal, yet? Ho-ly crap.