Joone. Looking past July.

Yeah what. I rainbow'd the felt box.

  Things have been rather stagnant this summer semester, punctuated by these incredibly tumultuous moments that sort of shake around the brain a little. A lot of evaluation and reevaluation has been occurring. Lots of attempts at backpedaling and not a ton of success at it. Summer's become something to just 'get over with', which is all sorts of wrong in my book. Waiting to see if I made the cut into the 2nd year of the program is just driving me up the wall. I'd just like to know if I'm a failure sooner rather than later please and thank you, SFU. All the things I've planned to do this summer have sort of fizzled. I was going to sew and sell tons of felties and make tons of movies and take tons of photos and learn tons of new things and go to the beach and garden and read lots. Let's just say I have done very few of those things. When work slows down in a couple weeks, I'm hoping I can get to the point where I can get up and just do something wonderful with my day, every day. There are two months left to make up for two months of nothing. Because why have a lame summer, when you can have a pretty alright one?

  I lost an awesomely dear friend recently, I talk about it on my video blog a little. It's here, if you'd like to see it. I get a little weepy, but I sort of just needed to talk about him a little. I still get weepy every few days, his loss is one that'll always be with me. But it's getting better, and I look back on the good times that we all had while he was here with us. I didn't make the trip home to attend the funeral, which, depending on the day, is a decision that I am somewhat glad or incredibly saddened I made. One thing that sort of shuffled out of the ashes, however, was a feeling of community that sort of reached out to me from the eastward province. The feeling has since dispersed, but it was very comforting to know that in times of grief, sadness and need, we could come together and make sure that everyone's doing alright. A lot of people were proud to call him a friend, as he was someone who was kind and friendly and always made a point of making other people laugh. Canmore gave him a good send-off. It's hard not being able to talk to or hug someone who meant so much to me and who was in my life for such a long time. I miss him a lot.

  In other, much, much more frabjous news, I've moved away from the basement and into the top floor of an old house. Some attributes I enjoy about my new residence: it has lovely, huge windows everywhere, the bathroom is orange, the kitchen is gigantic, we turned our two futons into a sectional, room to garden and we have our own doorbell! Some attributes I do not enjoy about my new residence: the fridge screams in agony every day or so, we think it is dying, my room is this nuclear blue that is unlike any colour I have ever seen, but I lack the funds and the pure strength of will to paint it and I have a fear of falling out of my bedroom window because it is sort of falling apart. But all in all, it's a pretty swell set up. My parents came out for two days and the move went super smoothly thanks to some burly film chums and Mickie! Thanks to the quick move, I got to spend some more time with my parents, which was nice. It wasn't near enough time, of course, but it was nice to see a familiar face from Canmore after John passed away. We took a trip to Granville Island and gave a toast to his memory and all-around awesomeness. He and I went to Granville Island and had a super time in 2009. He was here for his 19th birthday, so I made him Bender out of felt, because we both enjoyed watching Futurama to an extreme degree.

  Moving out of my old place was super surreal. Between losing John and packing up all of my belongings in the same week, it was a strange and empty feeling. Now I look back on it and it feels like I never really lived there at all. I was there for 11 whole months! I'm quite glad I'm here now. I've got a room mate who I can talk with when I get home instead of stewing in misery by myself. Currently, it's a little bit like Tetris trying to find places for everything. I have an extreme number of books, DVDs and film equipment and downsizing to a room probably half the size of my last one has been a bit of a 'where to put all of this shit I own' sort of challenge. My books are all in disarray and it is driving me all up the wall. Due to my large amount of film equipment, most of my closet is dedicated to my camera rack. Who needs clothes anyways.

  We've also got some new additions to the fish family. We went to buy a couple of tetras to make my green fire tetra, Miles, company. He's been all by his lonesome since around November and he needed some chums to school with. So we picked up an orange glowlight tetra and a silver tip tetra, whom we named Herp and Derp, respectively. It was tremendous to see Miles trying to school with Herp and Derp while they were still acclimatizing to the water temperature in a plastic bags. Now they seem to be best of friends. Yes, I'm a big fan of aquarium fish. Deeeeal with it! We also picked up a couple of new aquarium plants, as the tank now gets a fair amount of sunlight.

  I'm rather excited for August. Once my exams are all wrapped up and I (hopefully) never con myself into taking summer courses again as long as I live, I'm going to take a jaunt over to Vancouver Island to pay my Gran a visit for a week  or maybe a little less. Then I'm heading home to Canmore for a week or so! I'm so excited! I've been missing home a lot this past year and didn't think I could quite last til next Christmas to see those mountains out the front window, my puppydog Finnegan and my folks back home. My original plan was to start shooting some sort of documentary about my family this summer, but I just haven't developed a solid enough plan for it quite yet. I'm so excited to just have two weeks of no school and no work. Simply visiting and chatting and watching movies. It's been a while since I've had a bit of a break like that. So that's something to look forward to, film school or no!

  I've been trying to hash out a couple of film ideas, but I can't seem to form any of them into much of anything. Pages and pages of rather self-indulgent monologue, but that's about it. I apparently am a big fan of using voice overs, or perhaps I'm just a terrible dialogue writer and proceed to just lean on monologues to get the point across. Who knows! I guess I'll just keep writing and see what develops. I'd be looking forward to screenwriting classes come fall, but I don't want to get my heart set on anything (thanks again SFU!)

  The past few weeks, I've just been haunted by this feeling that I'm never going to get anywhere in life. Currently wondering how so many seem to work past that. And sort of just... persist. It's just hard to see past the end of my own nose, currently.

  Hope the end of June is most excellent for everyone and happy summer! Go frolic on the beaches and drink delicious slushed adult beverages and cook things over fire pits and stargaze and go on long walks in the wilderness and read in the sun and bask in the lovely, lovely heat.

Stay classy.

Some shout outs! I shall link them, and you shall go to them.

Next week, look for a post where I re-visit Choch! Brendan's put the whole damn thing online for two weeks for you to watch for free! Please take an evening and watch it, think about it, maybe discuss it with a friend or two. Then, perhaps you'd like to kindly donate to the cause - helping the film get distributed out to film festivals and into your own homes!

The Long Road Home also needs your help! They only have 8 days left to raise the remainder of their production costs!

Joel's 30 days of film - what a challenge! He's done nine so far! Just think, he's got another twenty one to go! In this one, number eight, get up close and personal with Joel's big toes.

Support independent film! Because it is oh-so-awesome.

Check out my exorbitant amount of other blogs:

Kingfisher Says - Video blogging because I'm horrible at speaking intellegently

Soup is for Winners - Indulging in GIFs and fandom beyond reason

Groove Nugget - Film and video Tumblr where I post all sorts of film and video I fancy

The Rest of May

 May's finally coming to a close. I've been working border line full time, which makes for boring days and exhausted nights - but with this first month of summer almost past, I feel much better about the stretch of time that lies between now and August.

I haven't had much inspiration to sew, and even less to write films. I made myself a handy checklist at the end of April detailing all of the film exploits I wanted to complete by the time September rolled around. Three short films and a stop motion short. So far, we're at a smooth zero count. I have an idea or two rolling around up top, but nothing concrete seems to be able to make it's way out onto a page. I'm desperately hoping that June will bring a little more creative ebb and flow. I think once I move and assemble myself in my new (!) place of residence, new things will begin.

After two years of rather stagnant not-really adventures, I finally got out to Lighthouse Park up in West Vancouver. My first mistake was trying to get there on the precipice of the long weekend. The bus was packed and the traffic was horrendous. But eventually, I did get there. I spent the afternoon and was rather disappointed to find that Lighthouse Park is more the Stanely Park of North Vancouver, than anything. I could hear lawn mowers and screaming children no matter where I was in the park. Needless to say, my next adventure will have to be a little farther removed from the city. The only birds I saw were robins and black-capped chickadees. The flowers were few. It was nice to get out with my camera, but for my five hours there I only shot about 15 minutes and compiled the video below.

The end of May has come with this piqued sense of homesickness. Hauling out old DVDs of home movies to bring some warmth back into this basement. I watched this one I did for my Grandparents Christmas 2007 the other day, and thought I'd share the last 15 minutes or so. I hope you enjoy. Just a bit of self indulgence.

Thankfully, I might get to go home to Canmore for a week at the end of the summer. I'm really, really looking forward to it. It is rare I see my parents, rarer still to actually go home to them. I've been trying to come up with some sort of basis for a documentary about my family that I can start that week. I know I want to do it, but don't know what grounds to build the premise on. Laaaame!!

In other (good) news, I finally have a new place to live! As of yesterday, this adorable top floor of an old house that my friend and I had been after was granted to us. Our move in date is June 1st, but I will be moving shortly after (June 10th) with the aid of my parents who are coming out for four or five days to lend a hand.

Some things you need to check out!

My video blog, Kingfisher Says!

Choch on IndieGogo

The Long Road Home on IndieGogo

Dinner with Elvis on IndieGogo

Choch!

I've got to say, getting to know Brendan Prost over the past 8 months has been inspiring. He was making feature films before he even set foot in the film program at Simon Fraser University. Generation Why, Prost's second feature,  premiered in Calgary last summer and I nabbed a DVD of it this past fall. I was blown away by the fact that a fellow student had already achieved such a standing in the film community, with numerous screenings and DVD sales, not to mention the fact that it took home the Rising Star Award at the Canada International Film Festival. The drive and determination needed to complete a feature are two things I have yet to muster as a filmmaker - but seeing is believing, and with Prost's feature-per-summer game plan, it's quite the motivation to get off your keester and make some films of your own! It is possible, ladies and gentlemen, you've just got to have the drive and ambition to do it!

Screening this month in Calgary Prost's next feature, Choch, gives us some mulling over to do about that image in the mirror we preen and obsess over every day.

Via Brendan Prost's Flickr Photostream

I was lucky enough to see Choch at it's premier in Vancouver on April 15th (such a late review, I'm such a horrible person, apologies). Choch is a conversation in identity and the trials we put ourselves through to fit into a clique or a culture. Tyler is a choch, stoked on Jagerbombs, decked in Ed Hardy, and surrounded by friends who are rowdy and obtuse. We've all seen these stereotypical 20-somethings wandering the malls and prowling the clubs with popped collars. Our protagonist Tyler, we discover, isn't this insensitive, chauvinistic husk of a young adult we have come to expect from that caricature. He finds himself conflicted - unable to feel quite right in his social group. Putting up this tough exterior has become commonplace, but Tyler develops an acute, conscientious doubt concerning his identity. The things he has said and done start to disgust him and he begins to reevaluate this persona he has created. He can drop the charade, become an outcast to that social circle and have to look for new companionship, or keep it up - maintaining that group of "friends", perpetuating that stereotype, but retaining that safety net/comfort zone.

Not only was the identity of youth under scrutiny, but the masquerades that parents put on were also on trial. Choch presents the facades that adults find themselves putting up to impress, say, a date with a new woman - case in point: Tyler's father. The remoulding of one's interests to cater to that of another, in this case an internet date and a sudden interest in jazz, becomes just another face to put on in the morning to maintain that relationship, however strained and uncomfortable.

I felt Choch added a sort of middle ground to these stereotypical conflicts we are so familiar with - these social groups that seem so black and white. The Greasers and the Socs, the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies, the territorial lunchroom tables in high school. Culture cliques whose elitist dispositions always end in naive misunderstandings. In Choch we see Tyler strive to maintain an awkward friendship with an old friend, whose own social qualms manifest themselves in skinny jeans and obscure bands you've never heard of. Both characters are limited by the identities they have spun around themselves and the safety they feel they have in their cliques.

Choch was leaps and bounds ahead of Generation Why both technically and from a storytelling perspective. Prost coaxed some amazing performances out of his leading man, Zach White, and used a considerable amount of ad-libbed dialogue that provided smooth and believable conversations. Shot on a couple of Sony HDR FX-1000s on a shoestring budget, Choch develops a distinct visual style via handheld camerawork, black and white footage and tight, rapid cuts. Prost's filmmaking abilities improve astronomically with every picture - the sky's the limit. Keep your eye on this one!

Become a Facebook fan!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - independent films rely on word of mouth and shout outs to get their names out there. Become a fan, invite your friends to an event, write a review - anything and everything helps! Support truly independent film - spread the word!

A trailer! For you!

Choch - Trailer from Brendan Prost on Vimeo.

A personal invite! To you!

Choch - Screening Series Invitation from Brendan Prost on Vimeo.

Also, check out the films review at The Independent Critic!

I'm sort of really horrible at writing reviews/critiques. I accept this. Go see Choch.

The end of the semester and Creature 003.

  Happy end of April! It's been one hell of a month, I'm not going to lie. It seems that life is becoming increasingly dense and uncertain and bizarre. I definitely am not minding it as much as I thought I would!

  I had a super two days with my pal Aerlan this week. It was a super surprise because he was supposed to mosey on down to Seattle for a visit. First, we went to a super hot pot place down on Victoria Drive (highly recommended - Fatty Cow Seafood Hot Pot!) where we partook in a little bit of everything, which included some "out of the comfort zone" foods such as oysters, liver and kidney. It was pretty tasty, except for the weird things. But, hey - now I can say, "I've totally eaten pork kidney," which I suppose I can consider a point of pride? The next day we had a super marathon of The Outsiders, American Graffiti and MASH followed by a strange dinner at a shifty Chinese food place that had horrible service - but hey, all the restaurants you walk into randomly can't be winners.

  I had a great dinner with my friend Amanda when she came through town on her way to spend a glorious year in Taiwan (take a peek at her travel blog!) when we walked around on Kingsway searching for some chow. We came across a strange place called Mega Grill. Seemed to have a little bit of everything. Lamb souvlaki for ten bucks (no objections here!) followed by surprise belly dancing. Yes, belly dancing. It was cool for about a minute before it got horribly awkward in that tiny restaurant. But again - it was a curious experience, and I'm starting to not mind those.

With school over - films screened and exams all wrapped up, I finally got around to sewing a bit this week. Creature 003 is up on Etsy! I think his limbs turned out pretty adorable, as did his teeth and eyebrows. The overall shape of him is kind of funny - but hopefully someone will give him a happy home! Sewing on my days off was such a zen experience. I'd put on some Star Trek Next Generation and stitch all afternoon! I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of felties I create all summer long! Remember to keep an eye out on my Etsy shop. I'm really going to be trying to spruce it up and keep it nice and stocked up from now until Christmas! So many felties!

I ended up taking a couple of courses over the summer - but with only one day actually affected by this I've been plotting out my summer beyond the work place. I'm bummed out I have to work so much - but its something I've been slowly coming to terms to, the fact that I'll be working jobs like this for quite some time. But I've got a solid job that pays alright, and I'll hang on to it until a better opportunity comes a long.

The end of the semester has really brought a change in mindset for me. I think the past four months have really gotten the ball rolling in a sort of "mental maturation" that had been overdue for a happening. After eight months of film school and meeting some of the most fantastic people, I think I've really started to gain new perspectives and at least get a foot hold in the seemingly unscalable wall of the lazy, procrastinating and boring self. I've definitely had a shift in my mind set and it seems that I'm much more positive and am regaining the passion and drive that I had lost in the previous two years of University.

Creator and Monster - and vise versa

The summer seems bright - I was not looking forward to four months of nose to the grindstone cashier work. But things keep popping up that will break up the monotony. I've told myself that by the end of the summer I want three complete short films written and directed by myself as well as a stop motion done on 16mm and the Bolex. I've got an idea or two that I'm slowly developing for the shorts. I basically just want to get out there and make films. It's something I've never really done. Any project that I've done in the past five years has been for school or a paid gig that I didn't have much interest in. With everything I learned this past year, I think I could really make some personal headway in developing a storytelling and visual technique. It's going to be awesome! Some traveling might be in the future as well - and that's always awesome!

I've got two fellow filmmaker shout outs to make this week:

CHOCH! Filmmaker Brendan Prost - creator of Generation Why - premiered his next feature, Choch, at Woodwards a couple of weeks ago. My review for it should be up in the next few days! Now that he's back in Calgary for the summer he's looking to get the word out. I believe he's going to be announcing some Alberta bound screenings in the next couple days. Choch is fantastic - a look at the identities we find ourselves putting up for the sake of fitting in as youth and as well as adults. Shot on a supremely modest budget, this indie film is worth the trip! Go check out a screening and tell your friends! Independent films greatly depend on word of mouth and small promotions. Prost's work improves with each project - take a gander at his previous work. He's got a new website up!

The Long Road Home! Hailing from Capilano U, Adam and Alex are working their way across country to their home towns in Ontario to start production on their first feature, The Long Road Home. They desperately need your support (and maybe some cash, if you've got any to spare). If you find yourself in Ontario this summer and want to lend a hand, get a hold of them via IndieGoGo! Or drop them a donation or a supportive word or two - whatever you can spare!

Support independent film!

I should really be asleep already, as it's a dense weekend filled with work and house hunting! Yes, I am moving! It's going to be insaaaaane!

I did a bit of a photo shoot of my firebellied toads as I fed them the other day. I've had these toads a very long time and every so often I just need to document their little handsome faces!

In other news, in an attempt to improve my speaking/conversation ability, I have started a video blog for the sole purpose of talking about anything and everything. My first post will be up shortly - but check it out at Kingfisher Says!

Vanity - My 2nd Semester Film

The semester's coming to a close and I suppose now would be an alright time to reflect on my 2nd semester film, which I tiled 'Vanity'.

I can say I'm rather disappointed in myself with this project. I got my brain all wrapped around the idea of doing an environmental piece over Christmas. And although the final project has a much more solid concept than my original proposal, I still can't help to think that it fell short of delivering anything decisive.

The shoot was short, sweet and easy (something I have come to not expect at all, from any shoot, ever). With the help of two fellow film students over a weekend, I was finished. I can say I'm quite pleased with my photography. I shot all of the colour footage in my kitchen. I decided since I refused a light kit last semester and loathed myself for it (lit my bedroom with like... 7 IKEA lamps instead), I decided to haul a three point ARRI kit home. I actually had a great time lighting it, I wouldn't go without a light kit again.

This was my first attempt shooting on black and white. With the original intention of hand developing, I chose to shoot on black and white reversal. With the tip that the 85 filter would help bring out some cloud contrast, I used that to my advantage.  My disappointment with the black and white reel, however, was that some shots were too underexposed (as you will see), a few so much so they could not be used. The use of the negative print was a decision I made once I saw how fantastic some of it turned out. It took some trial and error to figure out how it would be assembled, but in the end, I think it is an effective closing - however aesthetically motivated the decision was.

Anyways, I suppose I should explain my motives to make this. Ever since moving to Vancouver and doing things like volunteering at the Vancouver Aquarium, I've become much more aware of environmental issues in general. Moving from small town, middle of Alberta to huge city sitting on the edge of the Pacific brought many issues to the forefront. I made it a priority to compost, recycle and be extraordinarily mindful of products I buy and use on a daily basis. As I continued these acts, however, I realized that no progress was being made. Some people make it more of a priority, others pay no mind to it. I learned of all the shortcuts the large corporations were taking around environmental problems. A handful of individuals are bailing water out of a ship of millions, filled with holes.

Basically, I made this film to illustrate the redundancies in the environmentalism movement. I can recycle everything for the rest of my life and it seems that that wouldn't help anything. My realization of this has sort of manifested itself in a sort of back of my brain constant madness/frustration. We're in too deep to beat around the bush. The facts have been presented in every possible way - it's horrifying to think about... and yet, the problem persists more than ever. It exists on such a broad scale that it's difficult to comprehend - the global ramifications hard to see when it's so expertly swept under the carpet. It's a similar frustration I feel when it comes to other over-sized, deeply engrained issues such as politics and media. Things that often result in the realization of futility and the inability to truly change what was set in motion long before I was born.


Vanity from Laurel Brown on Vimeo.

On Tumblr.

I took exerpts from The Origin of Species by Charles Darwin, The Human, the Orchid and the Octopus by Jaques Cousteau and Silent Spring by Susan Carson. The narration was, once again, done by myself. I should have made it more of a priority to find another individual with, perhaps, a more authentic voice. The sound I used was a combination of Keneda by Geinoh Yamahirogumi from the Akira original soundtrack, Wounded Animals by Vangelis from the Blade Runner (LE) soundtrack and The Amazon Rainforest Part III from The Sounds of the Rainforest.

My problems with this film lie mostly in the fact that my vision was never that strong, nor was it every very clear. The issue I was addressing was large and overbearing, my presentation was lacklustre. It's an extremely important topic, and although I learned a great deal from the background research I did, it seems I failed to convey any specific feeling at the close.

The feedback I received post-screening was generally positive. It generated some good discussion points, but nothing outstanding. The fact that I have rudimentary skills at threading the Eiki projector and the fact that it kept skipping horribly on splices didn't help my nerves much that morning. Post-inspection of my film brought to attention sprockets that were missing entirely and some haggard looking splices. Since then, it has been respliced, but still skips occasionally (which you will see in the video).

You can take a gander at my previous film and subsequent reflection here. Or if you're on Tumblr, check it here.

In still film related news: if you live in the Vancouver area, the SFU first year film student screening is on April 6th at 7pm in the Djavad Mowafaghian Cinema at the SFU Woodwards building. I highly recommend it if you're up for an evening of some truly fantastic and unique 16mm films.

Also also also: my friend, classmate and fantastic filmmaker Aerlan Barrett guest posted an absolutely fantastic guide to the wonderful world of the Bolex over at Sad Hill Cemetery!

Scott Pilgrim vs 60 Seconds - VOTE

SIMON FRASER FILM REPRESENT.

VOTE - VOTE - VOTE - VOTE - VOTE

Amazing shout out from Edgar Wright himself.

Sometimes I draw weird things

If you're looking for a VIP pass of how my mind works, here is the entire tour:

Pencil lines

Digital 'rendering'

This sort of came together during a text message conversation I had over Christmas. Something about if sharks had thumbs what would humanity fight them off with. It also had something to do with there being a  Lethal Weapon marathon on television. It also may have had something to do with my aunt imitating my hand gestures in the Chinese Cultural Center, saying something about lobster claws and velociraptor hands, me combining words and creating the last hope for mankind against the sharks with opposable thumbs, jet packs and nuclear armaments. The lobsteraptor army is lead by the Gary Busey Lobsteraptor, ruthless mercenary.

That is all.